


Writing in the Sand

by GreyFinch



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Witness Protection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyFinch/pseuds/GreyFinch
Summary: Jesse McCree, a former police officer, has been placed in witness protection. Forced to create a new life from the ground-up, he meets a man named Hanzo Shimada and things get a bit complicated.--For now the rating is M, but it may become E later. Or it may just be fluffy domestic McHanzo who knows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's start at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Jesse's POV. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it!

“Jesse McCree.”

“Jesse… McCree. The name’s McCree. Jesse McCree.”

The name was whispered like a chant, over and over, invading the silence of the sparsely decorated living room. Even though it was spoken in a hushed voice, the laminate floors and empty corners of the room seemed to amplify the sound. 

“Jesse Mon-- damnit.”

The man making such utterances sat up on the couch and looked down at the coffee table before him, one of the few pieces of furniture in the place. On it rested a dossier with said name printed on the folder. He reached for it and placed the collection of documents on his lap, staring down at it as if it were something unsavory.

“Jesse McCree.”

The Marshal in charge of his case had been willing to let him pick his own name, with the suggestion that he keep his original initials for an easier time assimilating into his new identity. 

“It’s got a ring to it, at least,” he admitted to himself with a huff as he once again flipped open the dossier. He had basically memorized every detail outlined in the enclosed documents: his new birthday, his new social security number, even his new history. He had to rebuild himself from the ground up, and the first person he had to convince before he could go out into the world again was himself. 

He sat up straight and cleared his throat as if he were speaking to some invisible person across the table. 

“Name’s Jesse McCree. Born an’ raised in… Flagstaff, Arizona. Graduated High School an’ went on to…” oh, what did he do after that? He flipped through some pages in the folder on his lap. “Oh right, mall security.” He chuckled as he couldn’t help but wonder if that little detail had been added to explain away any instincts he might have from his old job on the force, should they ever come up. “After several years ‘a that I moved to LA to pursue a career change. An’ here I am.”

He nodded and closed the dossier, setting it back down on the table and getting to his feet. 

“Jesse McCree, born an’ raised in Flagstaff…”

His mock interview continued for several rounds as he started to unbox his things. Great piles of them were scattered along the living room. It was actually rather hilarious that most of the things in them were brand new. While he’d been sequestered in a safe house for the first week of this program, Winston (the Marshal) had pulled resources to procure all the necessities for a new life. Clothes, dishware, furniture and the like. It was honestly a damn shame, considering he’d had to leave behind all of his personal belongings with sentimental value. But Jesse McCree did not have these personal attachments, and the sooner he understood that, the better. 

He started to unpack in the kitchen in the hopes of finding some cutlery to make himself a sandwich. 

“...where I got into mall securi--”

Quite unexpectedly, the doorbell rang, which startled him enough to drop a plate.

“Ah damnit--!”

He moved away from the shattered mess to see who was at the door. There was a brief moment of hesitation as he stood on the other side of it. No one had his address yet except for Winston and the LA county police department. And as he looked through the peephole, he could see that it was neither his Marshal nor someone wearing a police uniform. Good, that would have attracted unwanted attention anyway. 

It was a man holding something, that much he could make out. It looked to be flat like a document or maybe a plate, but it was hard to tell. He was too backlit. Jesse felt his adrenaline kick in. There was no way someone could have recognized him already, he’d only been here for three days. And during that time, he hadn’t even left the house! It was probably just a neighbor stopping by to say hello... he placed his hand on the doorknob and gave it a turn. 

The visitor looked like he was considering leaving when Jesse finally opened the door. He appeared surprised that someone answered and turned back around to face him. He was a stern looking person with sharp features and dark hair and eyes; even his manner of dress was sharp. But all of that softened for an instant as he was caught in a moment of uncertainty. He looked down at the envelope in his hands and then back up to him. 

“Oh-- are you Jesse McCree?”

Jesse swallowed thickly but nodded his head, managing to stay calm. 

“I am sorry to disturb you. I-- this was delivered to me,” he said as he mused to the padded envelope, which he handed over shortly after, “but it was meant for you. The mail has not been very reliable recently,” he commented dryly. “In any case, I am just across the street, so I thought I would deliver it to you in person.”

Jesse took the envelope and stared down at it hard. A simple slip up like that could have ruined everything. He might have had to relocate _again_ because of something like that. He inspected the seal for a moment before the man across from him folded his arms uncomfortably. 

“I did not open it, of course,” he said, his tone borderline accusatory. 

“Oh-- no, no I wasn’t thinkin’ that at all,” Jesse insisted as he tossed the envelope on one of the boxes just past the door. His neighbor took note of it and the countless others behind him in the house. 

“Ah, you are the new resident. How… is the move progressing?”

It seemed like conversation was not this man’s strong suit. He was stiff all throughout the pleasantries, like a man going through the motions. It almost caused a laugh from Jesse, had he not been incredibly nervous about blowing his cover. 

“Yep. Yep. It’s… sure goin’.” He said with a few too many nods of his head. There was a strange silence that settled after the comment, and Jesse thrust his thumb behind him to muse to the mess. “I, uh… I better get back to it. Speakin’ of.”

“Yes, of course. Well. Good luck with it.”

The man turned before a thought struck him and he looked over his shoulder. 

“Oh-- how rude of me. Do you need any assistance with it?”

Jesse had been halfway through closing the door and peeked his head back out. 

“No! I uh… no. No I’ll be jus’ fine. Bye now.” 

He quickly snapped the door shut before he could say anything else, too afraid of what he might do if the exchange turned into a conversation. It may have been rude, but his heart was beating a little too heavily for him to worry about it. He did have a bit of curiosity though, and stared out the peephole at the man who remained in place before slowly turning back around and shoving his hands in his coat pockets. 

That was really too close. 

Brushing that awkward exchange aside for now, he went back to the kitchen to clean up the mess of a destroyed plate and fix himself a sandwich. After settling in on the couch and staring ahead at a blank wall as he ate, he remembered the envelope his neighbor had brought him. His neighbor… whose name he did not even catch. What a lousy way to assimilate into the community. People were going to think he was a hermit or some kind of weirdo right off the bat! He made a mental note to go offer to buy the man a cup of coffee later, once he was settled, and went to go fetch the envelope.

The return address was from some online fulfillment center. He opened it carefully, as was his habit, but when he realized it was some electronic in a box he sighed in relief. He sifted it out onto his palm and looked over the box. An off-brand prepaid cell-phone. At least it was a smart phone.

“Great, now I can play Pachi-Crush,” he said sarcastically as he turned the device on. This was likely part of the “welcome package” from Winston, and he should be grateful he was even getting help at all. He plugged it in to charge up the rest of the way while he finished his sandwich. 

\--

Halfway through unpacking that night, the phone started to buzz. Jesse looked up from assembling a pressboard dining table and disentangled himself from the cardboard and cellophane to stand by the phone. The Caller-ID just said “unknown”. Who had his number when he had just received the phone? He cautiously answered the call and held it up to his ear. 

“This is a secure line. Jesse, are you there?”

“Oh my god- Winston! Y’all nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“This is your new phone. Again I have to remind you not to contact-”

“Yeah yeah, I got it. Like there’s anyone I’d wanna talk to anyway, ‘cept the other guy in _you know what_ along with me, and hell if I know what his name is or where he is now.”

“Good. Has anyone asked about your identity or past recently?”

“Nope, not a soul. Honestly I’ve hardly left the house the last three days. I’m gettin’ stir crazy.”

“Well, once you have your new identity down-pat, I suggest you start actively looking for employment. That should cure your boredom.”

Employment. That was one of the biggest heartaches of all. Jesse loved his job as an officer, and going into this stupid program had even taken that away from him. Of course he knew the risks to himself and his unit if he had stayed on board, so he had accepted this without much struggle. But that didn’t mean he accepted it completely. 

“...Yeah. I’ll look for somethin’ in the mornin’.”

“Good. You do have the subsistence payments, but you should not rely too heavily on them. The goal is that you will become self-sufficient under your new identity.”

“Yeah, but this ain’t permanent right? Just until _you know what_ is all taken care of.”

“You should consider it indefinite for now. And no more talking about it, effective immediately. Just let the police do their job.”

There was a long and overdramatic groan from Jesse’s end. He ended the call and tossed the phone back onto the couch cushion, where it bounced once in protest and then settled. He then turned to his half-made table and stifled a yawn against his shoulder. 

“...I should’a focused on puttin’ the bed together first. Ah well. Jesse McCree is a man who doesn't mind sleepin’ on couches.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Hanzo's POV. Please look forward to it, and thank you again for reading! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo meets his new neighbor properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from Hanzo's POV. Thank you for reading!

It went without saying that Hanzo’s first encounter with his new neighbor did not go well. When he had seen the moving truck the day prior, he had been tempted to go over and introduce himself. Hana was always teasing him about not wanting to socialize, he was going to have to prove her wrong at some point. Of course he immediately began to weigh himself down with his own thinly-veiled excuses not to do so, which eventually dissuaded him. Receiving the man’s mail on accident, however, seemed like a sign to be proactive and welcome him to the neighborhood. 

However, the interaction had been strained at best. It was his fault. The entire walk over to his house, he had tried to talk himself out of it. _Just put it in the mailbox. There is no car in the driveway, it is possible no one is home anyway. Even if there is someone home, they will wonder why I did not just put it in the mailbox._ Those thoughts had occupied him while he placed himself in front of the door and rang the doorbell. He went into that conversation distracted, and it showed. Had he actually said “How is the move _progressing_ ”?

It was probably a mercy that the exchange ended abruptly. The door shutting in his face did not seem necessary though, and actually left him feeling a little irritated. This new neighbor was not necessarily rude, but not very open based on first impressions alone. To be fair, Hanzo was certain that most would say the same about himself. He would try his best not to judge. Moving could be stressful, he knew about that all too well.

Hanzo opened the door to his home, and while he slipped off his shoes the welcoming barks of Jun and Mako greeted him. Even though he had only been gone for perhaps five minutes, they could get so riled up as soon as that door opened. 

“Tadaima.” 

He said quietly to the two shibas as they tried to ascend his leg. He paused in the genkan to pet them both before removing his shoes and stepping inside. 

His house was a welcome sight after gazing into the cardboard abyss that would likely keep his neighbor up all night. Hanzo owned few material goods, but the possessions he did have were immaculate and practical. A flat-screen mounted to the wall, a glass topped coffee table, and a sleek black segmented couch and matching ottoman that was big enough for both of his spoiled dogs to lounge on at the same time. There was a single coffee-table book of various natural parks, bookshelves lightly filled with some classics in both English and Japanese, and a couple of sitting areas near each window with nearby lamps for reading. 

He turned on the television to listen to the news while he prepared something for dinner. He grunted softly at the mention of Nasdaq falling .5%. This was the second day in a row they were closing lower. He looked up from his preparation to watch the marquee scroll for more information when a cold nose on his ankle distracted him from it.

“This is not for you,” he chided the dog beside him. Mako whined and sat down, extending a single paw onto his pant leg. That got him almost every time. He “dropped” a corner of cheese from his sandwich to the floor, which both dogs honed in on immediately. 

The news had switched over to show the prime minister of Japan giving a speech about his record-breaking tenure. Hanzo brought his plate around from the kitchen to sit in the living room and watch the program with a bit more interest. 

It had been about eighteen years since he had left Japan. After his late-father’s company declared bankruptcy, it had been difficult for him to find work in his home country. Considering his very surname was in almost every news headline, he did not blame a single one of the recruiters that turned him away. Not only that, but after the falling out he’d had with his brother, there was really no reason for him to stay in Japan. His family was gone, and he did not see any potential in building a future there. It had become difficult to stay in their hometown without feelings of resentment and even depression taking over. So he chose to relocate to America in the hopes of starting over. ...And perhaps for other reasons. 

It had been decidedly easy to find work almost as soon as he’d arrived. There was an entry level position at Axiom, and although his pride had almost made him refuse the offer initially, it was a very prestigious company and there was potential for advancement. He took that opportunity, and over the past eighteen years he had worked his way up the ladder to land a position as the company’s financial manager. 

This promotion had allowed him all of the comforts he could reasonably desire. He had a nice home in a safe neighborhood, and enough disposable income to comfortably take care of two dogs. He had a closet full of suits more expensive than most of his furniture. He did not care much for cars, but the one he did have parked in his garage out of necessity was top-of-the-line. Through all of his hard work and determination to make up for his past mistakes at his father’s company, he had achieved so much. 

And yet, as he looked around his empty living room eating a sandwich alone on a Thursday night, it felt like he had achieved nothing at all.

\--

Axiom Business Solutions was a staggeringly large building just on the edge of downtown proper and the more suburban areas of the city. Hanzo had chosen his current house based on its proximity to work, and on good days his commute was only about ten minutes. It was easily the tallest building within eyesight, and with about 95% of its surface being glass it seemed to blend right in with the sky itself. When Hanzo had first started working here, he’d had some trepidations about what would happen to the fragile looking building if an earthquake ever occurred. Now, it didn’t concern him; enough time had gone by that he didn’t give it a second thought anymore.

Before the building, just past the entrance to the underground parking lot, was a spacious courtyard of sorts. There was an architectural fountain in the center, which always reminded Hanzo of some sort of cubist painting. Black marble discs and cubes jutted out and stacked atop one another with water trickling down the surface. A smattering of tables and benches surrounded the fountain, and closer to the main building were a few small licensed restaurants. An Americana place, very popular around lunchtime, a few fast food options, one Michelin star restaurant for employees to take VIP guests, a small drug store, and a coffee shop. 

Hanzo was usually early enough to beat the morning foot traffic and secure himself a pastry and a cup of coffee, and today was no exception. As he stepped into the courtyard he veered towards the Kofi Aromo. It was a popular franchise, but this one was a bit more streamlined than others. There was a higher concentration of small tables and fewer places to “lounge”, even though the interior did still have the same comfortable lighting, soft jazz and cozy decor known to the brand. 

He opened the door to immediately be greeted with a “welcome” and the smell of ground coffee beans. There were only a few people scattered throughout the lobby, and the lone man behind the counter was giving him his full attention. This was not a luxury most were afforded; as soon as seven o’clock rolled around, the work-rush pooled in and eye contact was rare for the bustling baristas. 

“Just you, today?” Hanzo inquired as he approached the register.

“Just me. Again,” The barista said with a half-smile. “Until noon anyway.” The man behind the register was young and charismatic, who had a rapport with just about everyone despite how busy they could get. He had even managed to build one with the notoriously aloof Hanzo Shimada. 

“I will pray for you,” Hanzo said dryly, which caused the barista to laugh. His own lips upturned just a touch before his eyes went to the menu. 

“Well, look who it is!”

Just behind him, he heard a gruff but somehow familiar voice. As he was processing who it could be, he turned around to see that his new neighbor was rising from a nearby table to greet him. 

“--Good morning,” he said, the surprise on his face likely evident. “It was… Jesse McCree?”

“Y’got a good memory! That’s right,” the other confirmed as he came up beside Hanzo. 

Now that he wasn’t halfway hidden behind a door, Hanzo was able to get a good look at McCree. He was a bit taller than him, and despite the scruffiness of his beard and wild dark hair, what he could see of his build suggested that he perhaps cared about physical fitness. He had a sharp smile and dark eyes, but up close Hanzo noticed there were flecks of hazel in them. Perhaps the most noticeable thing was what had been obscured by the door itself- the metallic left forearm. Hanzo had glanced down at it once to make note of it before looking up to meet Jesse’s eyes again.

The man set his hand on the counter and scootched in beside him. He smelled like sandalwood with vague hints of tobacco. “Hey, don’t let this guy pay.” He told the barista before turning to Hanzo. “Let me buy you a cup for returnin’ my mail. Didn’t tell ya in the moment, but I really appreciate that. Most people would’a just opened it.”

“Well, I am not most people.” 

“Heh, I bet y’ain’t.”

Whatever had caused McCree to say that, the statement had caught Hanzo off guard. He could feel his brows scrunching together as he processed that comment, fully aware that both McCree and the barista were waiting for his order. 

“So what’ll it be?”

Hanzo pursed his lips, but decided for efficiency’s sake not to argue. It would make more of a scene than just accepting his offer. Still, his gaze was locked with McCree’s even as he ordered. Why did this feel like some sort of challenge?

“...A medium black coffee.”

The barista looked at him for a moment before stepping back to get just that. Hanzo looked away from his neighbor to take the cup and stare down at it with a frown. Why had he said that? Was he honestly concerned enough about what this perfect stranger would think about his usual drink that he’d gone and ordered something he didn’t care for? 

“See? Wasn’t so hard,” McCree chirped as he patted Hanzo on the shoulder. The contact made him tense up a little. Even though it was completely harmless, Hanzo was very rarely touched. 

“You got time to sit an’ enjoy it? There’s another chair at my table,” he suggested as he tilted his head towards his seat with a smile. Hanzo looked up at him and then to the table in question, mulling over the invitation. He could almost feel Hana elbowing him in the ribs to just do it.

“I suppose, for a few minutes.”

Hanzo took a seat across from McCree, who had in front of him a small silver laptop. The man closed it and set it aside, a true display that he intended to have an actual exchange with him. He even pocketed his smart phone, which made Hanzo smile subtly. The art of conversation felt like something that had been lost to time with the widespread popularity of new technologies. He appreciated the gesture.

“Well, first things first. Never caught yer name, stranger.”

Had he really not introduced himself? Hanzo looked momentarily surprised. 

“My name is Hanzo Shimada.”

Jesse extended his hand to shake, which he slowly accepted.

“Oh! Shimada huh? I knew a--”

The man shaking his hand stopped as if he’d been distracted by something. Hanzo looked over his shoulder and back at the man, wondering why he’d paused in mid sentence. 

“Sorry. I knew a… a gal with the last name Shimizu. Sorry in advance if I call ya that on accident.”

“...I will make note of it,” Hanzo murmured with some curiosity in his tone.

“Anyway, nice to meet ya properly. Mind if I jus’ call you Hanzo?” 

Hanzo mused with one hand for him to do so, an unspoken _be my guest_ gesture. Jesse smiled at it and leaned his arms on the table to hunch forward. 

“So tell me a bit about yerself. Wait-- no, lemme guess. Nice suit, hair styled all nice, black coffee drinker… lawyer? Wait, no. Those cheekbones say male model.”

Hanzo actually laughed at the last proclamation. 

“Ridiculous. And wrong. I am a Financial Manager.”

Jesse did not seem off-put by his comment, in fact he continued to watch him with a glimmer of interest in his eyes and a warm smile at his lips. His whole aura was inviting, and Hanzo was beginning to think that his first impression of the man had been misleading after all.

“Definitely my third guess.”

“Of course.”

Hanzo reached into his suit pocket to retrieve a business card and offered it to the man. McCree inspected it, checking both the front and back sides. 

“And you?”

His own inquiry to Jesse made the man look up from the business card. His eyes darted from him to the table and down to the closed laptop. For a brief moment, that warmth slipped and Hanzo was left with an unsettling feeling. 

“Oh-- I uh, well. I don’t have a job jus’ yet. But I’ll hit you up with a business card once I get one,” he said with a quiet laugh. 

This struck Hanzo as rather strange, and it may have shown in his expression. This man, who had just moved in to a _house_ across the street from him, did not have a job lined up?

“I see. Well, I wish you luck on the search. Hopefully you will find something suitable soon.”

Hanzo took a sip of his beverage and immediately scrunched up his face and set it down. Ugh, he forgot about what he had ordered. As he set it down, he decided to dump out the rest in the break room sink later. 

“Well thank ya kindly for the thought. If I’m honest, it’s been rough gettin’ used to a new area while also lookin’ for work. Don’t know many people around here so I’ve just been holed up in my new place the past couple’a days, unpackin’ and workin’ on resumes.”

“That is understandable,” Hanzo replied, more empathetic to that comment than anything. When he had first moved to the neighborhood, his strongest relationship was with the girl who delivered his takeout. Perhaps Jesse was in the same headspace he had been all those years ago. He checked his wrist watch and cleared his throat. 

“I am sorry to cut this short, but I do have to get to work.”

“Oh, ‘course! Don’t let me keep ya.”

Hanzo rose to his feet, but before he turned to leave he considered something. He withdrew a pen from his breast pocket and picked up his business card from the table. As he wrote, his face felt warm and his heart was pounding as if he’d just run a lap. Jesse watched him while he penned a string of numbers on it and handed it back to him. 

“Now you know someone around here. This is my personal line, feel free to call me if you need anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from McCree's POV again. Thank you for reading! :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse finds work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some mention (but not graphic description) of a violent/traumatic event. Please be forewarned! Thank you for reading, as always!!

_A grey and brown sky slowly came into focus as Jesse's blurred vision resolved itself. That was the first thing that came back to him. Soon, the sound of distant sirens and people shouting urgently became clearer over the ringing in his ears. His head was throbbing, he could taste blood, and as soon as he was physically able to, his body began to tremble from the shock. He was too confused to recall what had happened before he blacked out, but as he regained consciousness he was piecing it together._

_Breathing was painful, and there was a dull ache in his left arm that became more severe the more he moved. He looked around weakly for his partner, but all he could see around him was debris from the wreckage scattered across the street. He heard someone’s voice overhead and saw a woman in paramedic’s uniform crouch beside him. Two others were speaking to her while she went through her procedures._

_“He’s pinned.”_

_“It’s not salvageable.”_

_His vision was starting to fade away again, and the ringing in his ears was returning. He felt a sudden numbness spread throughout his body, but the ringing persisted._

...ring…

...ring…

Jesse woke with a start, jumping to an upright position and looking wildly around a dark room he did not recognize. No, after a moment, he did recognize it. This was _his_ bedroom, just not the one he was used to. Jesse McCree’s bedroom. He lifted a trembling hand and wiped the sweat from his brow. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, he looked down at the metallic prosthetic clutching his bedsheets. 

...ring…

Again, he jumped when he realized his phone was ringing on the nightstand beside him. The time said 5:45. Well, at least he’d managed to sleep through the night this time. He picked up the phone and accepted the call. 

“McCree speakin’.”

“Hello, Jesse? This is Rosa from Kofi Aromo. I’m sorry to call you so early, this is the best chance I have to look over resumes.”

He sat up quickly on the edge of his bed and moved the phone away from his ear to get a yawn out. 

“Oh, no problem at all, ma’am.”

“Anyway, I’ve reviewed your application and I think you would be a good fit for us. Are you free today to go over the paperwork?”

“Well that’s mighty good news! Yeah, absolutely.”

“Great, I like your enthusiasm! How is ten o’clock for you?”

“That’ll do fine. Thank ya for the opportunity.”

He ended the call and set the phone down on his nightstand again, his nightmare forgotten. He hadn’t expected to hear back from them so soon. Hell, he hadn’t even expected to hear back at all. The only thing he knew about coffee was how much he liked it, and even then he only drank it black (he might have had a fancy coffee drink once in his life, at his partner’s insistence). But since his new persona only had a high school education and he couldn’t use any of his work references from his old life, this was his best option for now. 

Yes, it was painful. He used to have a job that he’d absolutely loved, surrounded by people he adored and would die for. He would give anything to get his badge back, to go _home_ , but not if it endangered the safety of his friends.

He sighed heavily. Rather than trying to go back to sleep, he decided to get a head start on his day. He glanced down to see Hanzo’s business card beside his phone on the nightstand and picked it up for a moment. He had already added him as a contact, but hadn’t thought of anything to say to him worthy of calling or texting. He supposed he could reach out just to let the other man know his number, too. But it was six in the morning on a Saturday, no one in their right mind would be awake now. He would send it later. 

\--

McCree fully expected it to be just as busy in Kofi Aromo as it had been the previous day. However, apparently a majority of their customers were employees of Axiom, because when he walked in at ten o’clock, it was decidedly dead. It was good news for him, at least. It made all the paperwork and official business go by a lot faster. He was told by Rosa that they would have him in the system by Sunday morning and that he could come in around the same time for some training. She assured him it would be just as slow then, so he would have plenty of time to learn the ropes. 

Even though acclimating to a new job should have been occupying enough, it wasn’t. When he returned home that evening, he still felt a distinct sense of loss. 

This really was like some sort of nightmare, going from risking his life every day on the field to food service. He couldn’t go out after work with the other officers. Hell, he couldn’t even call them. He couldn’t go back home, or see his dog (although Winston assured him he would be well taken care of), or get that barbecue pizza he loved from that little shop on the corner, or anything. Not until all of this was sorted out. All of the things he normally would have done to cheer up were things tied to his old life or his old location. He was a real fish out of water here in LA. 

He looked over at the dark green apron he had been given hanging up on the door and frowned. 

“Ain’t even my color.”

He flopped down on the couch and shifted awkwardly, removing whatever was in his back pocket. Oh, right. His phone. He opened his address book where there were regrettably only two names instead of the many he’d had in his old one. Winston, and Hanzo Shimada. A thought occurred to him and began tapping his phone to add a new contact. 

Work (Kofi Aromo).

There, now he had three contacts. Better.

He stared at the list, and his eyes lingered on Hanzo’s name. He tapped the icon and opened up a new message. It took him a moment to type out, delete, and retype something to his neighbor. But he finally managed to reach out to him with a simple message: 

_hey, its mccree_  
_heres my # in case you want it_

There. That didn’t sound too starved for human interaction, did it? Hopefully working a real shift tomorrow would help with that too. He set the phone down and went to go take a shower. After that, he warmed up some delivery from the night before and ate it straight from the container while hovering over the kitchen counter. No, his home life was not that exciting, but it was all baby steps. He would start eating better once he had a job, and he would find some kind of hobby or something once he was eating better. 

He threw away the empty carton and plasticware before settling in to watch some television. He reached for the remote and waved his hand over his smartphone to see what time it was. He was incredibly surprised to see what was on the display. 

(1) New Message

He all but dropped the remote back on the table as he went to pick up the phone. He hadn’t even been expecting a reply, but he’d gotten one already. He opened his messages to find the new one. 

_Hanzo: Thank you, I do want it._

Oops. Hanzo used such nice punctuation and grammar, should he have been doing the same? But if he started now, it would be weird. He grunted and just typed in a response. 

_anytime_  
_by the way, you can call me if you need anything too_

Not long after that, he received a response. 

_Hanzo: I will._

Okay. Well, that seemed like a good place to end the conversation. He set his phone down again and once more reached for the remote to turn on the TV. He settled into the couch and folded his arms across his chest as he started watching some sitcom he’d come into halfway. He actually managed to doze off that way, with the sounds of a laugh-track lulling him to sleep.

\--

Learning the ropes at Kofi Aromo was actually more complicated than he had thought. First of all, there were pretty close to a million items on the menu. And even when he felt confident he had memorized them all, _making_ them was an entirely different story. First his milk was too hot, then he’d let the espresso sit for too long and burn, and then his foam was “too bubbly”. What the hell did that even mean? Foam was nothing _but_ bubbles!

“It’s gotta be smooth, if you pull the wand out too much and too suddenly, the bubbles are going to be too big and it’ll just be... weird. No one wants weird foam.”

The barista in charge of his training was at least being patient with him. Lucio dumped out the pitcher and had him try again while he took some orders. Jesse practiced making drinks over and over, and when that was done he practiced writing down orders on the cup and calling them out to Lucio in the correct order. Of course he made several mistakes, but he was learning as he went along. 

“Don’t worry about it man, you’ll get it. It’s a lot of information to go over in a day.”

After a few hours of training, McCree slumped in his chair during his break and checked his phone. Surprisingly, he’d received a message from Hanzo. He must have been busy enough that he didn’t feel his phone vibrate. He checked to see what it said as he took a sip of water. 

_Hanzo: Good morning._

Oh crap, when had that one come in? He checked the timestamp and saw with a muttered curse that it had been hours ago. He typed back a response quickly. 

_aw hell im sorry_  
_just saw this now, good morning_  
_afternoon i mean_

To his surprise, he saw the telltale ellipses of an incoming reply already. 

_Hanzo: It is fine. I assumed you were busy._

_not too busy to talk to you though_  
_you need something?_

Again, he held the phone in his hands until he saw the three little dots dancing around. They stopped. Then came back. Then stopped again, and for a long time Jesse stared at his screen in anticipation. Was Hanzo hesitating about something?

“Hey, Jesse? Your ten’s kinda turning into a twenty...”

“Oh-- shoot, m’sorry. I got distracted.”

“That’s all right,” Lucio said as he watched McCree jump to his feet and come back to the register. “We’re about to wrap up anyway. Let me show you the closing procedures, then we can go over opening tasks. We’re gonna probably schedule you to help out in the mornings.”

Jesse stayed at Kofi Aromo until the sun went down, and once he and Lucio had closed up the shop he sat in the half-lit lobby to go over the checklist with him. Once they were sure everything was ready for the openers on Monday, the two of them locked up outside.

“Hey, Lucio.”

“Hm?”

“This might be weird, but can I have your number? Just in case I wanna ask ya about some of this.”

“Hey, it’s not weird at all, I was going to offer. Here.” 

He wrote it down on a scrap of receipt paper and passed it onto him. “Just text me yours and I’ll add it in.”

As Lucio walked off to his car, Jesse opened his phone to see two new messages from Hanzo. He pocketed the barista’s number and checked his messages first.

_Hanzo: I was just going to ask if you would like to get a cup of coffee._  
_Hanzo: It is afternoon now, but the offer still stands._

Oh fuck, if he didn’t look like the world’s biggest flake right now. He rapidly typed back a reply. 

_oh my god hanzo im so sorry_  
_today was my first day at the new job_  
_i swear i didnt see this until just now, wasnt trying to blow you off_

He walked back to the bus stop nearby and sat down on a bench. He hardly took his eyes off his phone this time, and almost missed the arrival of the bus that would take him home. Pocketing the device, he hopped on and paid the fare, then found a seat near the front. It was his habit now upon stepping into any public transportation to check the passengers first. He saw an elderly couple and a teenager with headphones on, so he figured it was safe. He felt his pocket buzz and whipped his phone out so fast it almost left his hand. 

_Hanzo: You were texting at work?_  
_Hanzo: Naughty._

Wow-- Why did reading that make his face feel hot? He shrank in his seat for a minute and grinned from ear to ear as he texted back. 

_yeah im real wild_  
_once i parked my car over the line and didnt bother correcting_

_Hanzo: That is just unacceptable._

Jesse went wide-eyed for a moment and began to worry before he received the next message:

_Hanzo: I am obviously joking._

_hahaha of course_  
_hey so… that offer to get some coffee still up for grabs?_

As if he hadn’t just tasted Kofi Aromo’s entire selection of coffee drinks. 

_Hanzo: Unfortunately, I have to work early tomorrow. I do not think I can go out at this hour._

Jesse's heart sank and he looked out the window. He let his head plop back against the bus seat and made a face at his reflection. He looked down at his phone with less enthusiasm than before and replied.

_yeah that makes sense i understand_

The conversation continued, and Jesse's face was illuminated by his screen for the entire bus ride and even the walk to his door. Hanzo was surprisingly easy to talk to via text. And for Jesse, having that extra moment to think about his answers carefully was very nice. No more floundering like an idiot because he'd almost mentioned someone from his past. Someone also in witness protection, even. That could have been a double foul there. He felt like he could relax and be playful, just like he'd been before the incident. 

He closed his front door with the heel of his foot and flopped down on the couch.

_that’s all youre gonna eat?  
somehow i thought youd be an awesome chef or something_

_Hanzo: Why would you think that?_

_i dunno, you just seem to have your life all together_

_Hanzo: I do._

_and so humble._

_Hanzo: I know._

Jesse laughed out loud and set down his phone for a moment to go to the bathroom. When he came back out, he saw three missed messages. 

_Hanzo: Do not be fooled. There are many things in my life that I would like to improve._  
_Hanzo: In any case, it is quite late. I have to go now._  
_Hanzo: Goodnight, Jesse McCree._

He smiled down at his screen and tapped out a reply.

_goodnight Hanzo  
talk to you tomorrow?_

_…_

_…_

_Hanzo: I will look forward to it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Hanzo's POV again. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo has a bad day.

“Oooh, texting at work!”

Hanzo only barely acknowledged the comment with a small huff and a lifted brow. In the doorway of his office lingered another employee, one who came to visit him often. She “knocked” on his open door just for show and stepped inside, taking a seat across from his desk as if she were a guest. He looked up from his screen and lowered his phone. 

“I am arranging a meeting. What do you want, Ms. Song.”

“Knowing you, that’s probably true,” she said in a bored tone of voice. 

The young woman across from him was dressed well today, as usual, although the colors were a little loud for him personally. She wore a bright purple blouse, fitted and tucked into white ankle pants with a black belt. Her hair was drawn back today with a clip, and once again her headset was ever-present just in case she needed to take a call while walking around the office. She was an aggressive member of the sales team, and almost always on her phone or meeting with someone. It honestly made Hanzo feel a bit of pride to receive visits from such a busy person. Even if she usually just came in to tease him. 

“I was just swinging by to tell you that this is bull. How do you expect us to double our revenue this year if we don’t have enough consultants?”

“How do you expect to keep them if we don’t have money to pay them? Do you know how much business consultants make?”

“Uh, _yeah_ \--”

“We would be losing money if we hired more staff at this point. The answer is no.”

“Really? But we can totally outsource some random IT company to fix something that isn’t broken--”

“SombraTech is not just some random company, you should see their reviews. And they are transferring our databases to new servers, which will save the company a lot of money in both manpower and efficiency.”

Hana huffed just as Hanzo’s phone vibrated on the desk, and his eyes darted to the screen. 

(1) New Message. 

“--working our crew overtime is just going to make them unhappy. Have you heard of a thing called work-life balance?”

Buzz. (2) New Messages.

“--Oh my god just answer it if you’re not even going to talk to me.”

“--I am sorry,” he apologized quickly, giving Hana his full attention now. How long had he been eyeing his phone? Suddenly, Hana’s eyes lit up and she stood from her chair as if she’d made a revelation. 

“It’s a personal call! You answer business calls while talking to me all the time, but you’re _embarrassed_ to right now because it’s personal!”

Hana made to snatch his phone, but Hanzo was quicker on the draw. He too rose to his feet and pocketed the device. 

“That is wildly inappropriate, Ms. Song. And incorrect. It is not even a call, it is a text.”

“Then read it.” She challenged him, folding her arms. Hanzo stared at her for a decent amount of time before he answered, stone-faced and monotone. 

“I would rather not.”

“Fine, Mr. Secret Life. Even though you’re being a total butt right now in every way-”

“That could be considered harassment.”

“-I also came by to invite you out after work. The sales team and the procurement team are going to Ricky’s bar down the street.” 

“No, thank you. I--”

“--already have plans.”

“Actually, I was going to say I would rather not watch my coworkers get drunk and publicly humiliate themselves.”

“That’s the best part! Think of the blackmail. Come on! Are you afraid of us or something? You never come out with us.”

“I am not-- fine. I will go for one drink.”

Hana clapped a few times before she took a call suddenly on her headset. She flashed him an OK before she turned and sauntered out of his office. Once she was gone, Hanzo sat back down at his desk. Almost immediately after doing so, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and remembered the earlier messages. He pulled the device out and checked the screen.

_Jesse McCree (neighbor): good luck with that. hey so i was thinking_  
_Jesse McCree (neighbor): what if that coffee turned into dinner?_  
_Jesse McCree (neighbor): you free tonight?_

Hanzo rose to his feet once more to go to his office door. He shut it quietly and locked it before pulling up his phone again, just in case. This felt so strange, making personal plans in the middle of his work day. He had never done such a thing before. Probably because he had been too busy climbing the corporate ladder in his younger years to bother with forging bonds of any other kind. 

_Unfortunately I have already made plans tonight._

He lingered for a moment behind his closed office door, waiting for some response. When nothing came, he retreated back to his desk and set the phone down with a heavy sigh. 

Maybe all of this was too much work. Maybe it was some kind of sign that their schedules just weren’t lining up. Maybe McCree felt the same, and that’s why he wasn’t messaging back. Five minutes went by. Then ten. Hanzo strummed his fingers on his desk as he looked through his presentation materials, but he was clearly distracted. He had just turned to his computer to bring up a new slide when he heard his phone ring. 

Not buzz. Ring. He snatched it up to check the caller ID. Jesse was calling him. 

He could hear his pulse racing in his ears. Through all the texting back and forth over the past three days, they had not really had a phone conversation yet. He hesitated for a moment before he slid his finger across the screen to accept the call and held it to his ear. 

“Shimada speaking.”

“Hey. Sorry if this ain’t a good time, just figured it might be easier to talk this way. Oh, it’s McCree.”

“Good afternoon,” he said back quietly. He rose from his chair as if pacing would make it easier for him to take a personal call during office hours.

“Heheh, _afternoon_. Anyway, I hope I’m not comin’ on too strong, but it sure seems like meetin’ up is harder than it should be.”

Hanzo chuckled softly and lowered his eyes to the carpeted floor. 

“Yes, but not from lack of trying.”

“And I’d really like to.”

“As would I.”

“... Shame yer busy tonight. I’ve got double shifts the rest of the week. Next time I can do anythin’ll be Saturday. That okay with you?”

Hanzo’s hopes fell a little, and he approached the window of his office to look outside. He could see the plaza and surrounding restaurants down below, and the scattering of people enjoying their lunches. From how high up his office was though, they were all just little pixels moving around.

He supposed he could wait until Saturday. Even though he had initially thought that this invite to have some coffee would be a quick way to get to know his new neighbor, this was turning out to be far more difficult to coordinate. There was a naysaying voice in his head that grew louder the more complicated this became. Yet somehow, it also made him more stubborn. More willing to plow forward with his commitment to trying new things and meeting new people. More willing to fight for it, and to be patient for it.

He smiled to himself and sat back down in his chair. 

“Ya still there?”

“I am. I-- was just checking my schedule. Saturday is perfect.”

\--

Hanzo did not have only one drink, as he had said he would. He quickly realized that he had very little to talk to his co-workers about outside of the office; he didn't follow any sports, he was not fond of office gossip, and he didn't watch any television or movies outside of the news and whatever happened to be on while he was waiting at the doctor's office. Alcohol made it easier for him to relax and feel less like he didn't belong there with this group of twenty-somethings talking about meams (meems? miims?) and places they found on Yellp (...Yalp?). 

He was on his fourth drink when he realized that it was probably best to call a ride home. Sobering up from this could take a while, and he needed to get back to his dogs. Hana made the call for him when she realized he kept dropping his phone, and walked out to sit with him on the bench outside while they waited. She even told the cab driver where he lived after Hanzo started dozing off in the backseat mid-sentence.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay? Do you need me to go with you?”

“Why would I need you to go with me. I am fine.”

He started speaking under his breath in Japanese, but then he reached through the open window to take her hand and give it a pat. 

“You are a good person. I mean it. I have met a lot of bad people in my life.”

“Eugh, you’re being weird. Go sober up, drunkie!”

She gave his hand a pat right back and then waved at the car as they drove off. 

Once the window was rolled up and he got his seatbelt on (it took a few more tries than he would like to admit) he pulled out his cellphone to see what time it was. He noticed something peculiar about it, and realized there was a rubber band around it with a sticky note underneath covering the screen. It said:

**DO NOT USE UNTIL MORNING.  
** Friends don’t let friends drunk text!!!  
ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was Hana’s doing. He chuckled to himself before he put away the device once more and forgot about it entirely. Right now, he was more interested in sleeping. 

Somehow, he managed to pay for the ride, get to his door, and open it without incident. From there, the rest of it was a blur. His head was spinning, and every time he blinked it was like the world turned itself upside-down. He would be in a new place every time he opened his eyes, like his memory was lagging but his body was still going through the motions. Eventually, his vision became unreliable and spotty. He heard barking and his own voice speaking some Japanese to his dogs, water running, and the news going quietly in the background. 

At some point, he must have passed out. When he woke up, it was due to a strange draft. 

When he opened his eyes, he recognized his living room ceiling right away. He looked down to realize with a groan that he hadn’t even gotten undressed or ready for bed. He’d just collapsed on the couch, his shirt halfway untucked, tie on the floor, and although both of his shoes were off they were haphazardly discarded outside of the genkan. He groaned as he pulled himself with a great amount of effort to his elbows to better assess his surroundings.

The television was on, but more alarming was the draft coming from the doorway.

His front door was open. 

Hanzo felt his blood freeze in his veins and a bit of nausea hit him (perhaps unrelated) as he leapt to his feet. 

“Mako? Jun?” He called out, hoping they were still in the room with him. He heard one of them from the hallway and rushed over to the sound. Jun was wagging his tail enthusiastically, holding a tug rope in his mouth which he soon set at Hanzo’s feet. A quick inspection of every room soon proved that Mako was not in the house. He knelt down and picked up the dog, set him in his bedroom and closed the door. 

“I am sorry, Jun. I will play with you later.”

He took the toy rope and put his shoes back on before running for the front door. 

“Mako!” 

He called out into the night, closing the door behind him and shrugging on his coat. He pushed through the alcohol still in his system and the budding hangover to begin the search, although he was so frazzled that he had not thought to get a flashlight. He was just hoping that she had not gotten far and could still hear him.

An hour of searching had gone by. Then two. He walked up several blocks in his neighborhood, first in one direction, then backtracking to another. There was no sign of her. 

He returned home once the sun began to rise, defeated and feeling sick for many reasons. He fed Jun and made sure he had enough water before calling another taxi. He knew of a nearby 24-hour copy place, thanks to a few impossible-to-meet deadlines in the past. Hopefully he had time to make a quick stop before work. 

\--

Hanzo had never spent so little time getting ready in the morning before, save for perhaps the one and only time he had caught the flu. He had changed his clothes, attempted to tame his hair, and brush his teeth, but that was about it. The driver did not say anything, but he felt such incredible embarrassment getting into the car and walking into the copy shop. There just hadn’t been any time to do anything else. He’d gotten a late start thanks to his midnight search, and if he delayed any further he would not have been able to print out some flyers.

He prayed to whatever deities were listening that he did not still reek of alcohol as he set foot in the Axiom courtyard. His head was throbbing, he felt stiff all over from sleeping on the couch, and of course the worry from losing his dog had him actually feeling dizzy. What if she had injured herself? What if someone abducted her, or worse, what if she had gotten hit by a car?

He tried not to think about it as he opened the door to the coffee shop. He would post a few of the flyers he had made on the community board, get his usual, and just try to salvage the rest of his day even though it had been an abysmal start already. The bell over the door alerting the baristas of a new customer was an assault on his ears, but at least it was dimly lit inside. 

“G’mornin’!”

Hanzo did a double-take when he realized who it was that had greeted him. Jesse McCree was behind the bar, wiping his hands with a towel and moving over to the register. He had on a green apron over his beige dress shirt, which validated his presence at the counter. However, it did not take away from Hanzo’s genuine surprise. 

“Oh-- you-- so this is your new job…?”

“That’s right.”

The man chuckled. His voice was so warm and sincere… it struck Hanzo as a little surreal that anyone could be genuinely happy right now, when he himself was feeling so miserable. It also struck him that he was standing before McCree unshowered and unkempt. This was further iterated by the barista’s follow-up comment. 

“Hey, did ya get sick or somethin’? Yer lookin’ kinda pale.”

“No--” he denied quickly, setting down his briefcase at his feet and tilting his head down to avoid eye-contact. “No. I simply had a long night… one of my dogs got out. I was searching for her until morning.”

If only he hadn’t gone out to Ricky’s bar. If only he had canceled those plans and gone out to dinner with Jesse instead. Then maybe Mako would still be safe and sound at home with her brother. He would have been able to shower this morning, drive his own car to work, and in all likelihood would have been spared the hangover. 

He made a silent vow never to succumb to one of Hana’s invites again as he looked over the flyers in his hands. He set them on the counter between himself and Jesse. 

“Oh man, I’m real sorry to hear that, Hanzo. Hey, you should’ve asked me to help, I’m just across the street.”

“It was the middle of the night,” he said as a quick excuse, conveniently omitting the mention that he was also only half-sober at the time. Jesse shrugged as if that didn’t matter at all. 

“Still would’a come to help out. I told you, didn’t I? You can call me if y’need anythin’ at all.”

“I-- will keep that in mind. In any case, would it be all right if I post a few of these on your community board?”

Jesse tilted his head as he tried to read the text from the pile, and Hanzo handed him one to inspect.

“Of course, go right ahead. Hell, I’ll do ya one better. Leave a couple here an’ I’ll hand ‘em out to some customers. Y’know how many people I see a day? Tons.”

This did make Hanzo smile a little, whether it was the offer or the bit of humor Jesse was trying to bring to the glum conversation. He _tried_ to, anyway, but it took too much energy to maintain and his expression quickly slipped back into a frown. 

“Hey… cheer up. She’ll come home. Let me get you a drink to make ya feel better. My treat.”

“That is not necessary.”

“I can tell ya had a rough night. It’s mighty necessary.”

“...Just a black coffee, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some day, Hanzo will get his frappé.  
> (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)
> 
> The next chapter will be from McCree's POV! Thank you for reading!! C:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse strikes a deal and makes a frappé.

“How are you feeling?”

How was he feeling? Boy, was that a loaded question. Jesse’s impulse was to shrug and say that he was just fine, but that would defeat the purpose of being here. This woman was one of only two contacts that he could confide in safely. The other, Winston, had been on total radio silence for the past week. 

“Honestly? Not great.”

The woman kept eye contact with him while he spoke, clearly waiting for an elaboration. Jesse sighed and ran his good hand through his hair while collecting his thoughts.

“If I had to put it down to one word… I’m homesick.”

The doctor across from him nodded in understanding before tipping her head down to make note on her chart. He shifted in his chair. Jesse had never really enjoyed doctor visits. They always told him to quit smoking, quit drinking, and give up the junk food. Rather than going in for a yearly guilt-trip, he popped in only if he had something embedded in him from a rough day on the job. 

This visit was conducted in the privacy of Doctor Ziegler’s office before the practice was even open. She had once been in the Medical Corps, and after returning from her service she opened a practice of her own. She specialized in seeing patients with PTSD and had a flawless record when it came to confidentiality, which was why Winston had sought her out in the first place. Her room was tidy, furnished with white bookshelves and a metal and glass desk in the center, which Jesse currently sat in front of. It still felt very clinical, but at least he wasn’t sitting on a weird cot with paper on it. 

“Have you tried everything I have suggested?”

“Most of it,” he answered truthfully, looking down at his hands. He was able to twine the fingers of both hands together now without pinching them, but it had taken some practice. “Got a job, asked for all the hours they could give me. Made some friends, got plans with one of ‘em. I’m tryin’ to get into some hobbies, but I ain’t a very talented guy. ...It ain’t workin’. Everytime I come home, I jus’ feel depressed. I want my old life back.”

The woman smiled gently and wrote something else in her notes.

“It will take some time for you to get used to this, Jesse. You have to develop and strengthen new neural pathways, which will require some repetition.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

He exhaled heavily and slumped in his chair. 

“It’s just hard. Hard lyin’ to people, even just lyin’ to myself. I mean, I’ve been who I am for thirty-seven years, an’ now I gotta throw all that away? I liked who I was! I'm not sure if I like Jesse McCree yet.”

“You don't have to throw all of it away,” the doctor chimed in patiently. “Who you are as a person, your views and your values, will all remain the same. It is just some tertiary facts around you that will change.” She looked down at her notes and flipped a page once there was some silence between them. 

“Are you still having nightmares?”

“Mm. Still goin’ strong,” he muttered, again forcing a hand through his hair. A nervous habit of his when something was preventing him from smoking. 

“How frequently?”

“Three times this last week.”

The woman frowned and turned in her chair to open a drawer. 

“I will prescribe some sleeping pills for you.”

Jesse scoffed and shook his head.

“Nah, I don’t want any pills. Can’t ya just... gimme some herbal tea or somethin’?”

Doctor Ziegler thought for a moment and finished pulling out her papers. She wrote down a few things on a prescription form and handed it to him. 

“Very well. Here are some caffeine-free teas that may help you relax. I recommend the chamomile.” 

“...Thanks.”

As he stood up to leave with the piece of paper in both hands, he became distracted. He folded the note and looked down at the woman still seated. 

“...If I happened to meet someone,” he started, which drew her attention fully once more. “An’ maybe I wanted to get involved with this person. I’d have to lie to them about everything too, wouldn’t I?”

“That is correct.”

The ex-detective frowned and shook his head. “Just doesn’t seem very sincere. Kinda like I’d be trickin’ someone into likin’ a different person.”

The doctor remained silent for a moment, watching him as if waiting for him to continue. When he didn't add anything else, she stood up from her desk. 

“That is a decision you have to make. Is it worth having a relationship if you have to lie to your romantic partner? I do believe that it is possible to do, however that choice is entirely up to you.”

“...Right, well it was just hypothetical anyway.” He said with a curt sniff and a roll of his shoulders. He pocketed Angela’s list of teas and excused himself from her office.

\--

The weather was a bit overcast, and although it wasn’t raining when Jesse came in to open up the shop, it was definitely threatening to overhead. He’d brought an umbrella with him just in case, but he was hoping it would just clear up so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He wasn’t a fan of rain, especially now that he relied on public transportation. Getting soaked to the bone while waiting for the bus was not one of his favorite things to do, nor was nearly face-planting on a slippery bus floor or sitting down on a wet vinyl seat. 

Lucio was there to open with him again. He was telling Jesse more about his latest track while they finished their morning prep. The man was an aspiring musician, working both a day and night job. When he wasn’t at Kofi Aromo, he was downtown at some club Jesse had never heard of DJing some of his latest works. He even gave Jesse a few of his tracks to listen to, which he had truthfully not gotten around to yet but promised he would soon. 

The distraction was nice. The other barista had a very calming energy to him that Jesse really responded to well. He had needed someone low-stress to shoot the breeze with, especially given his current situation. It had been Genji before, so it was nice to have someone else fill that role now that he was trying to start over from scratch. The musician could occasionally get heated when certain topics came up though, including politics and things he had read about in the news. Jesse tried to veer away from those conversations as much as possible. He didn’t need to think about that mess on top of what he was already carrying. 

Somewhere along the line, while Jesse was arranging chairs in the lobby and Lucio was stocking the pastry case, the topic of Kofi Aromo regulars came up. Jesse was bemoaning about how some people came in and said simply “the usual”. People that he’d never even met before.

“I mean think about it, if they ain’t never seen _me_ before, why would they think I’ve seen _them_ an’ know what they usually get? Doesn’t make sense.”

“Ugh, I know what you mean. But you’ll get it in time, this is what, your third or fourth day? Don’t sweat that stuff for now. You’ll pick it up faster than you think.”

Jesse made a face as he matched a chair up across from another by the window. 

“Guess so. But hey, I got two down so far. That gal who gets, what, would ya say three strawberry-mocha shakes a day? Four? And that Hanzo fella, always orders a black coffee. That one’s easy.”

“Pfft. Sure, for _you_.”

McCree had just been cleaning off a table that still had some crumbs on it when Lucio scoffed across the room. He lifted his head with a quirked brow.

“What? You think pourin’ coffee ain’t easy? You might be in the wrong line of work.”

Lucio laughed at the miscommunication and shook his head. He pocketed his rag in his apron and turned to face him across the lobby. “That’s not what I meant. The guy never orders his usual when you’re around.”

“Yeah, he does. All the time, I just said it.”

“No, he _doesn’t_. Look man, I’ve been working here for five years, and that guy _religiously_ gets a matcha frappé with white chocolate drizzle inside the cup, whip, and mocha drizzle on top.”

Jesse stared at Lucio in disbelief for a healthy amount of time, but the look went unnoticed as the other went about his business arranging croissants. 

“Oh-- is that right? Well… maybe he’s havin’ a tough week. He just lost his dog an’ all.”

Lucio laughed and shut the pastry case to give him a look with a perked brow and sideways smile. 

“I saw him switch up his order in front of you way before that. The guy doesn’t even _like_ coffee. One time, I made an extra doppio by mistake, so I offered it to him. He said… oh man, what was it… well, he phrased it better, but it was basically ‘coffee is disgusting’.”

“Now I know yer lying. I saw him drink some when he ordered it!”

“Hey, what can I tell you? I know what I know.”

Lucio went into the back to get some more cups, leaving Jesse to ponder this strange development alone for a while. Even if that was true, why would Hanzo keep ordering something he hated in front of him? That didn’t make any sense at all. He finished tidying up the lobby and switched the sign on the door right at six and went to stand behind the counter. 

Three things in this life were certain; death, taxes, and Hanzo Shimada coming in for coffee at six-thirty. It was like clockwork. Exactly half an hour after he’d flipped the sign, the door opened and Hanzo stepped inside. It must have started raining, because he stayed outside for a moment to shake out his umbrella, close it and tie it around the base before leaving it in the stand. He also paused in the doorway to wipe his feet and shake off his coat a bit before stepping inside. The man was certainly meticulous, but hey, it meant less mopping for him. In all likelihood, the next customer was going to ruin it anyway. 

“Mornin’,” Jesse called to him from behind the bar. He just finished up what he was doing and moved around to the register. “How’s the search goin’?”

He did not really need to ask. The poor man looked even worse than he had the day before, but whether it was due to the weather or his attempts to find Mako remained uncertain. He was pale, his eyes were bloodshot, and now dark circles had formed under his eyes. 

“Not well,” he admitted with a quiet sigh.

“I’m real sorry to hear that. I handed out all that I could, even got off a stop early last night to walk the rest of the way home. Didn’t catch sight of her.”

Hanzo stared at him for a moment, seeming at a loss for words. “That-- that was very kind of you,” he said in an astonished tone of voice. “I appreciate the effort, McCree.”

Jesse couldn’t help the smile that took over his face now, and he felt a warm feeling of accomplishment spread in his chest. “It’s my pleasure.”

He noticed Hanzo’s hand go to his pocket to retrieve his wallet, and before doing so he quickly blurted out:

“Hey, maybe you could do me a favor.”

The man met his eyes once more, looking curious and a little hesitant. Jesse went to the bar and grabbed what he had been working on before the man came in and set it down between them. He made a show of looking over the counter to Lucio, who was adjusting the blinds in the lobby. 

“I made one too many ‘a these. D’you mind takin’ it? No charge, I just don’t wanna get in trouble.”

Jesse mused to the matcha frappé between them and gave him an attempt at a charming smile. It was plain with no drizzle or whip, just in case that was too suspicious. Hanzo stared down at the drink, then glanced over his shoulder to the humming barista in the lobby. 

“You wish to make me an accomplice in your deception? You are quite devious,” he whispered as he turned to look back at Jesse with a smirk he had never seen before. How peculiar that such a comment combined with that look could make his heart want to bolt out of his chest. His first brush impression of this man had been a stuffy, prim-and-proper kind of guy, but this little wickedly playful side of him was one he desperately wanted to see more of. He’d caught a glimpse of it in their back-and-forth texting, but being on the receiving end in person was… a whole new experience. 

He cleared his throat and whispered back, lowering his head. “C’mon now, do this for me an’ I’ll make it up to ya later.”

Hanzo placed his hand on the counter, with the pad of his thumb and index finger touching the base of the drink but not yet picking it up. He looked down at it thoughtfully before meeting Jesse’s eyes again. 

“Very well. I choose the restaurant this Saturday.”

Jesse almost hadn’t heard him. His hand was just barely touching Hanzo’s and it was all he could think about. If he moved it away, it would be a “big deal”. But was it awkward just leaving it there? Did he _want_ to move it? When he realized the answer was ‘no’, he could feel the warmth rising under his collar.

“Done deal.”

Hanzo retained his locked gaze for a moment, then smiled nonchalantly and fished out a ten dollar bill with his off hand. He picked up the drink and placed the money on the counter where it had just been sitting. 

“Keep the rest.”

As Hanzo walked off to collect his umbrella and step back out into the world, Jesse tried to keep both feet underneath him while he processed what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be from Hanzo's POV again!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo receives a late-night visitor. Siblings are reunited.

The rain persisted throughout the entire day. According to the weather reports, it would carry on well into the weekend. This did not dissuade Hanzo from continuing the search for Mako. In fact, it fueled him to double his efforts. If she was stuck outside in this weather, she might get sick or become scared. Hanzo could barely see the lines on the road as he drove home. He tried not to think about what might happen if she ran out into the street and other drivers weren’t paying attention.

He returned home to eat some dinner and take care of Jun first. It was obvious now that a few days had passed that the dog was aware of his sister’s absence, and he was starting to react to it. He still came to greet Hanzo when he returned home, but with curiosity rather than excitement. Upon realizing Mako wasn’t with him, he started to whine and retreated back to his spot on the segmented couch to curl up. 

“I know.” Hanzo commented as the dog trotted off. “I miss her too.”

When he went to give him his food, he noticed the bowl was still full. He tried to get Jun to play with something, but he was disinterested in all of his toys. Hanzo wasn’t sure what was worse, dealing with the idea that Mako might be lost for good or watching her brother become depressed over her absence. He stayed with Jun for a little longer to give him some attention he’d been lacking. In truth, Hanzo hadn’t been giving him enough coddling due to the prolonged search, and he felt guilty about that as well. 

This was all his fault. He was usually so responsible, how could he have let this happen? He should have known that going out for drinks with coworkers was a bad idea. He went back to that thought frequently ever since Mako had gotten out, and spent many hours regretting his decisions and chastising himself. He needed to practice more restraint to avoid letting something like this happen again in the future. 

He ate a quick meal and grabbed his flashlight and umbrella before heading out. On previous attempts, he had brought Jun with him thinking he might be able to find her or she would hear her brother’s barking. Tonight, the weather was too unforgiving. He spared Jun from the cold and the mud and took the journey alone. 

He walked up several blocks, all the way to the park down the street. It was his hope that she would find her way there because of how often they went on walks through the park grounds. He checked under every table and every fixture, but still there was no such luck tonight. 

Up the street and down several other neighborhoods, his search yielded the same unfortunate result. Every minute that went by with no sign of Mako made him fear the worst. She was a beautiful dog, if someone had stolen her he might never see her again. He could practically hear his father’s voice in his head, criticising him for letting this happen. 

He pushed through until his hands were numb from the cold and his legs could barely support him any longer. A glance at his watch told him that he’d been out for five hours straight. He could technically keep going considering it was a Friday night, but his body was starting to protest. 

He must have walked several miles this time, because it took him quite a while to return home when he finally decided to do so. Jun woke up at the sound of a door, but did not even bother getting up this time. He looked in the direction of the entranceway, ears perked, before they drooped and he set his head back down on his paws. 

“I am sorry, Jun.” Hanzo answered sullenly as he removed his shoes and shook off his coat. “Not today. Perhaps tomorrow...”

Now that he was back in the warmth of his home, the urge to sleep weighed heavily on him. It was past midnight, and even though it was nice and toasty in his living room the chill from the rain permeated him to his very bones. He already felt a stiffness settling into his muscles from all of the constant walking in such abysmal weather. Even though his entire body was screaming at him to just collapse onto the couch and pass out, he had to go through the motions. 

He took a quick shower, which did help him relax a little, brushed his teeth and slipped into some pajamas. Jun and Mako did have their own doggy bed in the living room, but ever since he had lost his sister, Hanzo let Jun sleep in his room with him. He’d brought the bed in and set it on the floor by the nightstand, but more often than not the shiba would just jump up on his and curl up by his feet. Tonight was no different. He watched the dog settle in atop the comforters and turned off the light beside him to get some rest. 

\--

_“Why not!?”_

_A young boy stood in the middle of a shopping center, in front of a floor-to-ceiling window display. His face was pressed to the glass, observing two small labrador pups fighting over a giant rawhide bone chew toy. An older boy stood next to him, but he was paying less attention to the dogs and more attention to the man next to them._

_“We will take care of her,” the older boy added, speaking directly to the adult beside them. Even though he must have been no more than ten years old, he had a maturity in his voice that preceded his age._

_“You both know the rule. No pets.”_

_The youngest one stomped his feet and turned around. He was wearing a shirt with a popular sentai character on it and matching sneakers._

_“But WHY? Ryosuke has two dogs AND a cat! Why can’t we have one?!”_

_Hanzo could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He hated when his brother started to throw a fit in the middle of a public place. He took his hand, but the younger sibling pulled it away, insistent on staying in his foul mood._

_“A pet is a serious responsibility,” said the man accompanying them. “And neither of you are responsible enough. You two cannot even keep your rooms clean. Besides, now that you are old enough, you both need to be focusing more on your schoolwork. The answer is no.”_

_Hanzo wanted to help their case, but what could he say? Their father had already made up his mind. He could see tears welling up in Genji’s eyes, but instead of sticking around to make a scene, he ran inside the pet store. His brother stood frozen in place, unsure of what to do. The decision was made for him when he heard a stern voice above him._

_“Go find your brother. We are leaving.”_

\-- 

When Hanzo woke up, it was still dark. He realized soon enough that he hadn’t woken up naturally, rather something had alerted him. He heard the sound of the doorbell, and he got the distinct sense that this wasn’t the first ring. Slowly pulling himself out of bed, he checked his alarm clock. It was three in the morning, who in their right mind would be at his door at this hour?

He moved out of bed and Jun stretched before following, but he lingered in the hallway with a whine. Hanzo picked up his black coat from the coat rack to put on over his pajamas and checked the peep hole. It was too dark to see anything, and the rain was still going strong which made it even worse. Again the doorbell rang. He cleared his throat and called through the door before opening it. He wasn’t an idiot, it could be a thief or something even worse. 

“Who is it?”

“Hey, Hanzo! It’s me. You weren’t answerin’ your phone!”

Upon recognizing the voice on the other side, Hanzo let out a relieved sigh and slipped on some shoes before opening the door. 

“That is because it is three in th-”

He was fully expecting to see McCree standing there, but what he was not expecting was what he had in his arms. Hanzo’s whole expression melted from whatever sour mood he had been set in previously to pure relief. 

“Howdy, neighbor. Look who I found!”

“Mako--!”

He could hear how brittle with emotion his voice sounded, but at the moment he was far from caring. The very soggy black shiba began to wiggle once she saw his face and heard her name. Hanzo stepped outside to put out his arms for her, and Jesse transferred the excited dog back to her owner. She immediately proceeded to lick his face, and he had to tilt his head away to stifle a grateful laugh. 

“信じられない！マっちゃんを心配していたよ...”

Hanzo turned to walk back inside without thinking and closed the door behind him. Jun ran at breakneck speed towards the genkan and Mako started wriggling more adamantly in his arms to get down. He set her down to reunite the two siblings who immediately started barking and rolling around with each other, unable to handle their excitement. Hanzo watched this for a few minutes before he realized with a pang of guilt that he had left Jesse on his porch without so much as a thank you. He spun on his heel and opened the door to see the man still standing there with a patient smile on his face. He stepped back outside and closed the door quietly behind him.

“McCree! I apologize. I did not mean to leave you standing there--”

While he tried to find the words to explain his momentary lapse of manners, the other man just laughed sincerely. It had such a warmth to it that carried over the pitter-patter of rain around them. 

“It’s fine! I figured you two’d need a minute.”

Hanzo smiled, feeling better than he had all week. The constant dread that had been forming a winding knot in his gut was finally gone, and he felt like he could breathe easy for the first time in days.

“I cannot thank you enough. Where was she? Come in, come in.”

He went back to the door to open it and show McCree inside. There was some initial resistance, but eventually he did concede to staying “just for a bit”. Hanzo took his shoes back off and after observing this Jesse wordlessly followed suit. Hanzo was pleasantly surprised; he must have been in some no-shoe households before. 

“Would you like some tea? Unfortunately I do not have any coffee…”

“Honestly, lord knows I got enough coffee in me already. But- y’know, sure. You got any chamomile?”

Chamomile. Hanzo thought for a moment about whether or not he had anything herbal and went to the kitchen to search his pantry. Jesse padded after him but not all the way. He seemed unsure of how far into his neighbor’s house he could venture, and so Hanzo called back to him over the open concept counter. 

“Make yourself comfortable wherever you like.”

He set a kettle of water on the stove and sorted through his selection of teas. He had a couple of tins of things he did not usually drink, in case he ever entertained or caught a cold. But since he rarely had guests and was generally healthy, most of them were still full. He grabbed a pair of mugs and the kettle with a couple of teabags steeping and brought them out to the living room.

Jesse was seated on the edge of the leather couch, his elbows bent over his thighs and fingers wound between his knees. He was looking around the room when Hanzo showed up, and he jumped to his feet to offer to help out. He took the cups from him and set them down on the table. Hanzo murmured a word of thanks as he set the kettle on a cork teapot coaster.

“Let that steep for a moment. Now then, where on earth did you find her? I searched the entire neighborhood.”

“Y’know, it’s a real funny story. I was tryin’ to get to sleep when I heard a weird scratchin’ sound by my bedroom window. I thought for sure it’d be a family of racoons or somethin’ tryin’ to take shelter from the rain. I go outside with my broom ready, an’ guess what I see! Well, you don’t really have to guess, you already know. There’s Mako, rummagin’ around behind my trash cans. Poor gal must’ve been lookin’ for food scraps or somethin’. I gave her some slices of ham to earn her trust an’ get her to let me pick her up. I hope that’s okay. But she’s real friendly, probably didn’t even need ‘em.”

Mako was sitting in front of the food bowl now, nudging Jun’s head out of the way to eagerly eat. Bits of kibble were flying every which way. She must have been starving after a couple of days out on the run.

“Of course,” Hanzo said calmly as he poured them both some tea. He handed Jesse the mug and watched him take a cautious sip for a moment. “...Insomnia?”

“Hm? Pardon?”

“You said you were trying to get to sleep. It is three in the morning. And chamomile is renowned for its ability to regulate sleep.” 

Jesse’s expression changed to something a bit more closed off, and Hanzo wondered if he should not have said anything at all. A silence settled in, and Hanzo frowned at his own cup and took a sip quietly. How did he always find the wrong thing to say?

“It’s just the caffeine. I get a lot of it durin’ the day. Makes me jittery.”

“I see.”

A reasonable explanation for it. Perhaps Jesse could sense his discomfort, because he chose to speak up and change the subject.

“Must be a relief to have her back.”

“It is,” Hanzo answered softly, glancing over to the two dogs now playing tug of war with their rope toy with a fond smile. “...I never had pets before these two. Perhaps it is odd to say this, but since I live alone they are like my children in a way.” 

“That ain't odd at all. I feel the same about my dog. He’s a real sweetheart.”

Hanzo perked up, drawing his eyes away from the two shibas. “You have a dog?”

“--I mean, not now. I used to.”

“...I am sorry. Did he pass away?”

“No. Well- no.”

“Oh. What happened to him?”

“H-he uh…” Jesse took a long sip of tea while Hanzo watched him. “My ex has him. It was a messy break up. Don't talk to him anymore so I haven’t seen the dog since.”

Oh. That was a much more informative response than he'd been expecting. In that one explanation, Hanzo had learned quite a bit about Jesse. He could feel his eyes widened, but he tried to curtail the rest of his surprise. 

“I am sorry… that must have been difficult for you.”

“Yeah. I don't really like to talk about it now that it's all over an’ done.”

“I certainly understand.”

Once again they settled into a silence, sipping their tea. Mako had let Jun win their game, and while the brother trotted over to the ottoman to chew on his toy victoriously, Mako jumped up on the couch to try and sit on Hanzo's lap.

“You are still wet--” he chastised, moving her back down to the floor. She persisted, hopping up again, and eventually he gave up.

“Well, I cannot thank you enough for bringing Mako home. May I give you your reward tomorrow after dinner?”

For whatever reason, Jesse choked on his tea and started coughing viciously. Mako was startled by the noise and hopped off the couch to go find Jun, and Hanzo set his cup down to make sure his guest was okay. 

“Sorry-- sorry, wrong pipe. The… the w-what now?”

Jesse was red as a tomato, most likely from all the coughing. Hanzo frowned for a moment before he remembered what he had said before the coughing spell. 

“The reward for finding Mako. The five thousand dollars posted on the flyer. I do not carry that much on my person, but I will write out a check tomorrow.”

“ _Oh_. Ohh, okay. Wait, five thou-- holy hell, Hanzo. I don’t need all that--!”

Jesse ran a hand through his hair and it lingered behind his neck. The whole gesture was rather sheepish. 

“We’re friends, right? I was just doin’ what any good neighbor would do.”

Here, he could not help but stare up at Jesse as if he’d started speaking in Greek. He didn’t want any money? Who in their right mind would turn down that much? He could feel his eyebrows furrowing and a frown forming. He must have looked as confused as he felt, because Jesse laughed not moments later. 

“What, is that weird?”

“Frankly, yes,” Hanzo answered, to be greeted with more laughter. “There must be some way I can thank you, even if you will not accept my money.”

Jesse made a thoughtful face and put his tea down on the glass coffee table. “I dunno, why not just a hug or somethin’ normal like that?”

A hug? The last person Hanzo had hugged was his mother when he was still a child. He looked down at his hands with some uncertainty, which must have prompted Jesse’s next comment. 

“I mean-- unless that makes you uncomfortable. Just a thought. If y’ain’t a huggin’ type I understand.”

Hanzo glanced up and realized his hesitation may have come off as reluctance. He quickly shook his head. “No, I am just surprised. That is really all you want?”

Jesse held out his arms with a big grin as an answer to his question. Hanzo swallowed and nodded resolutely. He moved closer to him on the couch and turned his torso to lean in slowly. 

Fortunately, the other man was well-versed in the art of hugging. He hunched to meet him the rest of the way, putting both forearms around his shoulders and pulling him into it. Hanzo wasn’t entirely sure where to put his hands, so they settled lightly at his shoulder blades. 

It was… nice. More pleasant than he’d expected. Jesse was still a little damp from the rain, but he could feel the warmth radiating from him as soon as he had his arms around him. Hanzo’s chin just barely reached his shoulder even when he slouched down, but he tipped it up to perch there for the duration of the hug. There was that whiff of sandalwood again, and he wondered if it was shampoo or cologne or something else entirely. 

Being this close to another human being, being able to feel him breathe in and out against his own chest, really seemed invasive for someone as touch-deprived as Hanzo. It was intimate in a strange way, and he wondered if perhaps all hugs were this enjoyable or if Jesse McCree was just nice to hug. He closed his eyes and his fingers curled slightly into the broad back they were encircling, and for a moment he was lost in the embrace. 

“Okay, any more’n that and I gotta buy you dinner first,” Jesse teased with a quiet chuckle as he drew away. Hanzo reluctantly lowered his arms and opened his eyes. “Speakin’ of, you got a place in mind for tomorrow? I’m really lookin’ forward to it.”

Hanzo couldn’t fight the smile forming on his lips. So Jesse was looking forward to it as well. That was good, because he had been thinking about it almost all week (when he wasn’t guilt-tripping himself for losing Mako). 

“I have. Do you like French food?”

“When it comes to food, I like everything.”

“Good. I think you will enjoy it, then.”

They finished up their tea with a little bit of light discussion before they both decided it was best to call it a night. Hanzo walked Jesse to the entrance and thanked him once again for essentially reuniting his family. He closed the door before he could embarrass himself by inquiring about a neighborly hug goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested, Hanzo said: "I can't believe it! I was worried about (you) Ma-chan." 
> 
> Ma-chan is like a cutesy nickname for any name beginning with Ma (like Manami or Makoto). I had a student in Japan whose mother called her that all the time and I thought it was cute.  
> (｡>﹏<｡) 
> 
> So yeah Hanzo is basically baby talking his doggo.
> 
> BY THE WAY next chapter may have some raunchy bits and go from M to E rating. I'm not sure yet but just a heads up! o/


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date(?) part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was super long so I'm splitting it into a two-parter. Please enjoy and thank you for reading!

Jesse could not sleep that night for a few reasons, but thankfully none of them were concerning his nightmares. Instead of traumatic flashbacks of the explosion or seeing his ex-commanding officer’s cold expression every time he closed his eyes, his thoughts ventured somewhere far more pleasant. He allowed himself to set down his baggage for just a moment while he wondered how else he could make Hanzo Shimada smile the way he had when Mako was back in his arms. 

How many people had ever been able to witness that, he wondered. Who before him had seen Hanzo’s face light up so genuinely like that? 

His impression of Hanzo initially had been someone who was a little too serious, very reserved and all of his actions measured and meticulous. His interactions every morning at the coffee shop were tense, and his replies via text were occasionally terse. Yet in the seconds it had taken the other man to open the door and set eyes upon Mako, all of the exhaustion and gloom had cleared away into something so sincerely _elated_ that it stole Jesse’s breath away. And even though he didn’t understand a lick of it, listening to him coo at his dog like that in Japanese while standing there in his pajamas was just so… humanizing. 

Jesse had caught a glimpse of something raw and real from his generally stoic neighbor. It was a high in the purest sense to see that side of him, and he wanted to chase after it.

Once he finally dozed off, he slept through the night peacefully and nightmare-free. It was the first decent night of sleep he had gotten in perhaps a month, and his body was grateful for it. He woke up naturally around nine-thirty, and he was surprised that he had slept for so long. His new shifts had him waking up around four-thirty or five. He must have needed the rest. 

Jesse did not have any plans for the day. He had no shifts scheduled, no doctor visits, and no check-ins with Winston. The only thing on his agenda was dinner with Hanzo, and that wasn’t until evening. He busied himself with some things around the house he had been neglecting: cleaning up some boxes still left out, taking out the trash, doing the dishes… but all of his household chores were completed by around two in the afternoon, and he still had hours left to go before he could start getting ready for their outing.

He read a few news articles in the morning paper while he tried to decide what to do with the rest of his day, but this turned out to be a bad idea. He found a piece, albeit a very small snippet, about his case. He sat up from his reclined position on the couch to read it carefully. 

_New evidence confirms that the explosion in the 24th precinct was caused by the ex-captain of the unit, Gabriel Reyes. No casualties were reported in the February explosion, however several officers were grievously injured. The precinct has declined to comment on the progress of this case, however the warrant for Reyes’ arrest has been officially issued._

Jesse stared at the snippet for a while, his eyes tracing the words long after he had retained the information. So there it was. Solid proof. An arrest warrant. He felt suddenly sick to his stomach, and he set the paper down on the coffee table. He looked to his phone and contemplated calling Winston, but he already knew what the result of that would be. “Just leave it to the officers working the case”. He had asked for updates a few times in the past two weeks, and had gotten the same answer each time. 

It was slowly killing him not knowing where Reyes was, and not knowing if he would ever get his old life back. Neither Winston nor Angela would talk about it, granted the latter had nothing to do with the case but at least spoke to the Marshal regularly. 

As Jesse stared at the phone, it began to buzz across the table. He blinked and picked it up. Oh, Hanzo was calling him. He answered it quickly, grateful for the distraction but still feeling a little distant. 

“Hey.”

“McCree. Good afternoon.”

Jesse rose to his feet to pace around the living room. 

“How’s Mako doin’?”

“Oh- I am actually at the vet right now waiting for them to finish her check-up. I will let you know how it goes. I was just calling to go over our dinner plans for this evening.”

Jesse smiled to himself. This guy was so formal, even over the phone. 

“Yeah, of course. I was actually gonna ask you about that. You said you found a French food place, so I was wonderin’ if it was a fancy place? They have a dress code?”

“I imagine it is just a standard dress code. Business casual, if I had to say.”

He held back a comment about how Hanzo’s standard was probably a bit higher than Jesse’s. He looked down at his sweatpants and t-shirt and inspected a new stain by the hem. This was a brand new shirt, how did that happen? Oh- must have been grease from doing the dishes. 

“Got it. You want me to meet you at the restaurant, or-?”

“No, that would be ridiculous. We live across the street from one another. I will drive us.”

“I sure appreciate that.”

“It is my pleasure. I have made the reservation for seven, and it is about fifteen minutes from my house.”

A reservation? ...Well wasn’t that fancy. Jesse himself only made reservations for birthday dinners and dates--

“Uh-- right, so I’ll head over to your place around a quarter ‘til?” 

“Yes. I will see you then.”

Jesse ended the call, staring down at the phone with some mild confusion. Wasn’t going to a restaurant that required a reservation perhaps a little over the top? He had originally thought some sort of greasy spoon diner would suffice. Hanzo had insisted he pick the place the other day, so he must have really wanted to go. Maybe it was just delicious and he rarely got the chance to go with other people?

Still… the idea that it might be something more than just a humble dinner between neighbors had gotten his pulse racing. 

The newspaper article was momentarily forgotten. Instead he went to his bedroom to look through his closet full of brand new clothes and search for something “business casual”. He had to admit that he was a little bummed that he did not have his go-to outfits anymore, but these would just have to do.

“All right now, which one’a you shirts says ‘I ain’t exactly sure what the preface of this dinner is’?”

The red one. He selected that and a pair of black jeans to go with it and popped off the tags. Almost everything in his closet still had them- he had a couple of pairs of things he wore to work and did laundry often enough that he forgot about the rest. As he was debating between the black belt or the brown belt, thoughts of the Gabe kept trying to creep back into the back of his mind. He shook them off adamantly each time. 

“Come on, Jesse.” He muttered. “Leave that alone now. Just enjoy yourself for once.”

\--

The rain had let up a little since the previous day, but it was still lightly drizzling. Jesse had gotten out his umbrella to make the trek over to Hanzo’s house around six forty-five. He rang the doorbell and immediately heard two barking dogs, followed by skittering paws and some muffled Japanese behind the door before it opened. 

Damn. Of course Hanzo looked immaculate, why wouldn’t he? He had on a steel grey suit, a white collared shirt with a cobalt blue tie at his neck, a black sweater vest and silver tie clip. Jesse immediately started to doubt his own choices; should he have worn a tie also? Should he have looked for a vest? He didn’t think “business casual” called for all that, but maybe he had a different idea of the term. At least he’d grabbed a brown sports jacket on his way out, maybe that would class up his look a bit.

“Good evening, McCree.”

“Evenin’ to you, too.”

Hanzo closed the door behind him and locked it before pocketing his keys. He had an umbrella in one hand and a black coat draped over the forearm. Jesse held his own umbrella out for them to both stand under while the other opened the garage door. As the mechanical door slid open, Jesse stared in awe at what was revealed. 

“Wow- a Tesla, huh?”

“I am sorry it is a little messy in here,” Hanzo commented, disregarding the comment about the vehicle and walking around to the driver’s side. “I have not had a chance to clean recently.” There were two cardboard boxes stacked by the corner and a few gardening tools. That was it. If Hanzo considered this messy, he wasn’t sure he could ever invite him over to his own place. 

Jesse felt like he needed to be mindful of his shoes tracking mud or getting water on the upholstery when he got in. He hadn’t sat in such an expensive car in his entire life. Hanzo slid in nonchalantly and set aside his coat before starting the car and backing up. 

On the walk over to Hanzo’s house, Jesse hadn’t really been feeling anything unusual. Just glad to be going out again, and happy for the opportunity to get to know Hanzo better. But now that he was sitting next to him, he was getting oddly nervous. They were on their way to some French restaurant in a hundred thousand dollar car with Hanzo himself looking like a million bucks himself right beside him. 

This was… starting to seem a lot like a _date_.

 _Was_ it a date?

He didn’t realize he’d been clutching his jacket so tightly until Hanzo made a comment. 

“Are you all right? You look uncomfortable.”

“What? Oh yeah, I’m jus’ fine. Maybe a li’l carsick.”

“I see… I will drive slower.”

They arrived at the restaurant almost exactly on time. It was a cute little place; the sign overhead said “Petite Maison” in an art nouveau font. The restaurant was nice enough to have a valet service, which Hanzo opted for. Jesse had honestly never known someone to voluntarily valet their car. He was a “just find a spot and save five bucks” kind of a guy himself. He gave Hanzo a half smile as he stepped out in front of the restaurant. While he followed the man inside he slipped into his jacket, mostly because he could feel himself starting to sweat. 

“We have a reservation for two.” Hanzo said to the host. “It is under Shimada.”

“Yes, right this way.”

The place certainly did have charm. It was small, but thoughtfully designed. The dining area was sleek and modern but with a few old French country touches that might be seen in some more traditional places. White walls with dark wooden rafter beams. Touches of stone and mortar in the architecture here and there. The tables all had wooden tops but with metal joins underneath to tie in the old-meets-new theme they seemed to have going. It was more of a bistro than a fine-dining place, but honestly he still couldn’t decide if it felt cozy or intimidating to be there.

They took their seat at a table by the window, and the server handed them their menus. It was one single page on high quality cardstock with gold leaf filigree at the corners. He glanced down at the selection and noticed most of the entrees were just listed as “market price” Okay, now he was starting to feel in over his head.

On the other hand, Hanzo looked like he was right at home as he was handed a menu. He even asked for a wine list. Jesse flashed him a forced smile when he looked his way once the server was gone. He could feel the tension in his face and quickly lowering his gaze to the menu again. 

“So, uh... what’s good here?”

“Mm. Well, their menu is seasonal and I have not been in a few months. We could try the prix fixe.”

Oh god what in the world was a prix fixe. Wasn’t that the opposite of a suffix? What the hell--

“Heh… Y’know what, I’ll defer to you.” He said with a nervous laugh. “Would you s’cuse me a sec?”

Hanzo looked up at him with both brows raised just as the server came by with the wine list. The man took it, although he seemed distracted and lost in thought suddenly. Jesse inquired about the restroom and made his way over to collect his thoughts. Once he was behind the door, he exhaled heavily and paced in a tight circle.

Okay. So this was almost certainly a date. 

He didn’t mind that, in fact given any normal circumstances he would be over the moon about it. Hanzo seemed like a nice guy, and he did want to get to know him more. But these weren’t normal circumstances. He was still adjusting to life as Jesse McCree. Was he ready to do the whole… tell-me-about-yourself routine while he was inside this shell of a person he barely knew?

If he could just go back to being who he _was_ , he knew he could knock this date out of the park. But not like this. Not as an ex-mall cop from Tucson-- wait, no it was Flagstaff. Damnit! What if Hanzo asked another question about his dog or his made-up ex? What if he asked him something he didn’t know, or he contradicted himself and Hanzo realized he was lying? 

Jesse leaned over the sink to pat some cold water over his face while trying to calm down. He could get through this. He’d done several sting operations before, he could surely get through one date without blowing his cover. If he kept the topic of conversation general and focused around Hanzo, this would be fine. He regulated his breathing for a moment and muttered some positive mantras to himself in the mirror before he returned to their table. 

Hanzo had been looking out the window with the wine list closed on the table before him. Jesse slid back into his seat across from him with a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry about that.”

“It is fine. Are you all right?”

“Mhmm. Yep. Mighty fine.”

His response did not seem to convince Hanzo, who was staring at him astutely. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, then he stopped. What was he thinking about? Before he could ask about it specifically, Hanzo had found his words. 

“Would you take a walk with me?”

Well, that was unexpected. Jesse could feel his eyebrows shoot up at the question. 

“Like-- right now?”

“Yes.”

“Erm… sure?”

Hanzo stood from his chair and grabbed his coat, and Jesse did the same despite his confusion. The man explained to the host that something had come up and they had to leave, and suddenly Jesse’s heart sank. Damnit, was this his fault? Had he ruined this already? 

He followed Hanzo outside, who opened his umbrella to ward off the rain. Jesse did the same and kept about a foot between them as they walked down to the sidewalk that framed the main street. He wasn’t sure where they were going, or why they had given up their table. So far, Hanzo hadn’t said a word. There was a weight in his gut as he wondered what it was that had spurred this sudden change of plans. It really felt like he had thrown a wrench in this somehow, and it was definitely an uncomfortable feeling. 

A few minutes passed and they rounded a corner to go down another street. They were somewhere downtown, and just on the cusp of a college campus. Late night establishments from bookstores to bars lined the streets, along with with several rows of food trucks all buzzing with business. There must have been a game or something, because despite the rain there was a decent sized crowd queuing for each one of them. String lights were dangling all along the light posts, giving the whole street some additional visibility and a feel of vibrance. 

“McCree. May I confess something to you?”

Jesse looked away from the change of scenery to Hanzo, who had stopped beside him. He was staring up at him from under his umbrella and frowning. 

“Hm? Yeah, of course…” he replied, granted with some hesitation. 

Hanzo looked suddenly serious and readjusted his gaze instead to somewhere around the second button of Jesse's shirt. 

“I… I have not…” The man paused to sigh quietly. Was Hanzo nervous? “Gone _out_ in quite some time. I was hoping to impress you, but it was not my intention to make you uncomfortable.”

Jesse wanted to chime in, but Hanzo did not look like he was finished. He let him continue. 

“I realize I have made an error in judgment. I should have chosen something more casual.” The man drew in a breath and mused to the food trucks. “So. Would you care to have a… kalua pork slider with me?”

Oh wow. This whole admission had his heart beating out of his chest. Hanzo had been trying to impress him? And moreover, he’d assumed that Jesse’s discomfort came from the restaurant choice, so he'd brought him here instead? That was honestly one of the most considerate and sweetest things anyone had done for him in a long time. 

Whatever trepidations he’d been having in the bathroom of Petit Maison had vanished. Looking down at Hanzo now, who stood before him in a really expensive looking suit, musing to a line of food trucks with a slightly trembling hand, he knew what he wanted now more clearly than ever. He wanted to explore something new, and to get out of his comfort zone. He wanted to take the risk if it meant getting to know this man, who was so obviously getting out of _his_ comfort zone just to meet Jesse halfway. 

He took a step forward and put a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. 

“I would be honored to have a pork slider with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Hanzo's POV. I couldn't decide which perspective I wanted this date to be from so I'm copping out and doing both lmao. Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date part 2! Hanzo makes a confession and Jesse learns a lot about two Shimadas.

Assess. Identify. Evaluate. Optimize. Every problem regardless of its size went through a similar process with Hanzo. He would assess the situation, identify the source of the problem, evaluate the possible solutions, and optimize by choosing the one with the greatest benefit and lowest risk. This practice had originated when he had started working at his father’s company, but it carried over even now. 

The situation was... awkward. McCree had been fidgety ever since they had walked into Petite Maison, and even Hanzo could tell. The poor man had started perspiring and yet he put on a jacket. And Hanzo had given enough quarterly presentations to know that look of confusion and frustration on anyone the moment Jesse glanced at the menu. Something was going on with McCree, and it did not take a genius to see that the man was uncomfortable. 

There were a few things that may have caused this, but the most obvious one seemed to be the restaurant. As soon as they had sat down, Hanzo could feel the nervous energy radiating off of him. His weak laughter and lackluster smiles confirmed it. Staying would most likely just exacerbate the problem, and taking a walk up the block to get a change of scenery was a simple and fast solution. It was the best choice he could think of on the fly, anyway. 

He just wanted to ensure the man had a nice evening out with him, and that he would not see this as a mistake.

What had occupied him on the walk over, though, was the fear that he had misunderstood the cause of his uneasiness. What if the restaurant was not the source of the problem? What if it was him? Could it be that McCree did not want this dinner to proceed in a… romantic direction? He had thought this was mutually understood to be a date, but… what if that was the source of his discomfort? 

This uncertainty made it extremely difficult for him to pose his next question. He was delighted, however, that McCree said yes right away. 

Between the two of them, they tried a variety of items. They ordered kalua pork sliders, of course, but they also walked down the row of trucks to sample a little bit of everything. From one truck, an empanada, from another a couple of chicken katsu steamed buns, and from yet another a mountain of garlic butter fries. 

“I think we got too much food,” McCree said with a laugh as they searched for a place to sit.

There was a old style cafe with very limited hours nearby, and considering the lights were off and the sign on the door read “closed”, neither McCree nor Hanzo thought they would mind if they sat on their sheltered patio. Hanzo set his collection of food down between them and Jesse did the same. 

“Oh? You do not think you can handle this?”

“Hey, now. I can put away a lot, don’t get me started,” he answered with a laugh. This one was much more genuine, and Hanzo felt reassured that the man was in a better mindset now. “But maybe I don’t wanna embarrass myself stuffin’ my face in front of you.”

Although they were small portions, it was a deceptive amount of food. They did their best to tackle all of it, but they began to slow down around the heap of garlic fries. By that time the handful that remained in the disposable tray had started to get cold. They discussed which choice was the best, mutually coming to the agreement that it was definitely the katsu steamed bun because the sauce was outstanding. 

After they were full and satisfied, they lingered underneath the awning of the closed cafe to chat. They talked for a while about many things. McCree was very inquisitive about him; he asked a lot of in depth questions about his work, and a lot of minor curiosities like what his preferences were regarding hobbies, foods, books, movies and the like. Hanzo was not the sort to talk about himself often, but the way Jesse engaged him somehow made it much easier. 

At one point, the man got up once more to excuse himself, promising he would only be gone a minute. When Hanzo asked where he was going, he received the answer “you ain’t the only one allowed to be mysterious, Mr. Let’s-Go-For-A-Walk”. So he waited patiently, checking his emails on his phone while he did so. 

He did not want to think about work on a night out, but he did have an out-of-town conference coming up in just a few weeks where he was expected to give a presentation on Axiom’s projected growth. The VP was needling him to get it done on top of his usual workload, and every day he got email reminders and notes on the slides he was preparing. He heard Jesse’s chair scooting back and looked up from his phone, glad for the excuse not to be thinking about that. 

“Please tell me you’re gonna help me eat this.”

McCree had brought back a giant waffle loaded with whipped cream, fruit, and some other toppings. Hanzo stared at him and then down at the dessert. Jesse held out a plastic fork, which he took slowly, and he began to prod at the food carefully. 

“Did you have to order the largest one?” He said sarcastically. 

“Hey, it only comes in one size! What could I do? I was really jonesin’ for one.”

Hanzo took a bite, managing to get a collection of all the elements in one fork-full. The tanginess and acidity of the lemon curd paired so well with the sweetness of the whipped cream that it gave him goosebumps. The consistency of the cake-like waffle batter was so warm and chewy on the inside but crisp on the outside. The addition of the fresh raspberries and strawberries was a nice bright touch, and the chocolate drizzle on top paired well just with the fruit or tied in with the whole thing. It was a complex and thoughtfully put together dessert. It was exquisite. 

“Han?”

Hanzo looked up and pulled the fork from his mouth, realizing he had been momentarily distracted. 

“I said, d’you like it?”

He realized Jesse had yet to take a bite and had been waving his hand to get his attention. 

“You must, ‘cause you took about four bites already,” he said with a chuckle. Hanzo could feel the heat rushing to his face. 

“Oh… yes, it is good.”

Hanzo controlled himself and waited for Jesse to take a few bites as well before he took another small one. 

Every man had a weakness. In Hanzo’s case, desserts were his achilles heel. His parents had been rather strict about their diet growing up. They had eaten sweets at times, both he and his brother, but those times were limited to birthdays and special events like holidays or vacations. When he had gotten older and could make those decisions for himself, he still had the pressure to be more “professional” on business dinners with his father and the board members of his company. And like hell was he going to be the one person in a group of elites to ask to look at a dessert menu when everyone else ordered black coffee.

Now that he did not have such dinners, he could indulge whenever he felt like it. As long as he was alone. 

“So, you’re livin’ alone now. You don’t have any family stateside?”

“I… do,” he said slowly. Jesse must have sensed a story there, because he slowed down his pace to listen acutely. Hanzo, conversely, chose this moment to take a few more bites. 

“My parents have both passed on. I do have a brother, but I have not spoken to him in twenty years now.”

“Oh wow…”

“Mm. Supposedly he is living somewhere in America, but I am not sure where.”

There was a silence simmering between them now, and Hanzo was not sure what to say to relieve the tension.

“That’s rough... I’m real sorry to hear that.”

“It is fine. I do wish to make amends with him, but I have accepted that I may never have the chance.” 

“...Can I ask what happened?”

Hanzo set down his fork and leaned back in the metal patio chair with a heavy exhale. 

“My father’s company was on the decline after he passed away. I inherited almost everything from him in regards to the business and became the majority shareholder. The day after his funeral, it fell on my shoulders to make executive decisions that I, admittedly, was not ready to make. I was under a lot of pressure by the board of directors, most of whom did not seem to think I could fill my father’s shoes and carry on his legacy. My brother, on the other hand, did not care about the company all. He _sold_ his shares and told me that I should do the same. The complete disregard he had for all the hard work that our father had poured into this--” 

He paused when he realized old feelings were bubbling back up, taking a slow breath before continuing. 

“I was… not a good person back then. I was too stubborn and proud to see from Genji’s perspective. I could not stand that he was not as invested in our father’s company as I was, and I constantly reprimanded him for it. We got in an argument one night, and it escalated to the point that I…” Hanzo frowned deeply and lowered his eyes to his hands. The thumb of one was kneading at the knuckles of the other as he recalled that night of flared tempers and raised voices. “I struck him. I regretted it immediately. I wanted to apologize to him, but he was gone by morning.”

He felt too ashamed to make eye contact with McCree after this admission, but it was best to get this out of the way early on. He wanted to be transparent and honest with him, especially if he thought they might form a continued friendship or perhaps something more. 

“I think about that incident almost every day. I was so toxic back then that I drove away my last remaining family. I have worked hard to reform myself since then. I do not know if I have succeeded, but I do hope that someday I will meet him again so I can apologize properly.”

When he finally glanced up, McCree was staring at him wide-eyed and dead silent. Hanzo’s hand clenched around the other one other reflexively. He knew it was awful, and he knew he had cast a new unfortunate light over himself. But the other man’s silence was killing him. He tried to think of something else to say, but McCree finally reacted. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. 

“H-hey… we’ve all been there. We’ve all done stupid shit when we were young. Right?”

“Perhaps… I am sorry. This conversation is far too heavy to be had over a waffle dessert.”

To his great relief, Jesse burst out laughing. That reaction even caused Hanzo to chuckle a little. 

“I’m sorry-- ” he said through breathy laughs. “An’ I’m sorry I brought it up. Didn’t know it was a sensitive subject, I was just curious. But it takes some strength to admit somethin’ like that about yourself, and even more to learn and grow from it. I really respect that.”

Hanzo did feel a little better from this comment, and a little more inspired to continue the conversation in a different direction. 

“Well… that is quite enough about me. There are some things I am curious about too, you know.” 

“Oh? Like what?”

Hanzo’s eyes lowered to the table, and the prosthetic arm came into his line of sight. He extended a hand and the question of “May I?” left his lips. Jesse met his reach and allowed the other to inspect the metal joints of his hand. 

“Kinda not how I figured we’d hold hands for the first time, but knock yourself out.”

They both chuckled at the comment and Hanzo released the prosthetic after he had examined the intricacies of it.

“Now it is my turn to ask a potentially invasive question. What happened?”

“Car crash.” The answer came quickly, and Hanzo wondered if this was something he was asked frequently. “I was pinned, they had to do a field amputation to get me to a hospital in time.”

“Oh-- McCree, I am so sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m used to it by now. Anyway, it could’ve been a lot worse. When I woke up in the hospital the next day, I was in shock. But they were all sayin’ the same thing. You’re lucky to be alive. It could’ve been worse. ...Havin’ a close call like that kinda gives you a whole new perspective on the world. We only got this one life, y’know? Best to make the most of it.”

Hanzo nodded quietly in agreement, but he was still a little shocked. He knew the answer to his question was going to be morbid, but he had not imagined that it had been tied so closely to a life-or-death situation. McCree was lucky to be alive indeed. In a way, Hanzo felt lucky as well. Had things gone any other way, he might have never met the man he was sitting across from with a smile that felt like the warmest day of spring. 

The sound of the rain around them became more present as they both quieted down to finish off their waffle. At one point, Jesse confessed that he couldn’t eat any more and asked Hanzo to save him. He took up the challenge and ate the last couple of bites. The decision to return home was mutual, as even the food trucks were now closing up their doors for the night.

They walked back to the Petite Maison and the valet was able to find Hanzo's car right away. He drove carefully, because knowing what he did now, it felt insensitive to McCree to even go a few miles over the speed limit. Fortunately, it was not an uncomfortable silence this time. Jesse even made a few charming observations about the surrounding area as they drove by. Hanzo gave him a bit of history where he could to help expand his knowledge of the new neighborhood.

He parked his car in the garage and closed the door once they were outside, the two of them huddled under McCree’s umbrella. Hanzo offered to walk him back to his home, but the man insisted that he would be fine and instead walked with him to his front door. They said a cordial goodnight to each other at the base of the shallow stoop, and Hanzo turned to go to his front door. He was about to put the keys in the lock when he heard his name again. 

“Hey, Hanzo. For what it’s worth… I think you’re a good person. I mean, I don’t know a whole lot about you. But I’d like to.”

Hanzo turned around to look at the man standing at the edge of his porch, just past the reach of the awning overhead. The sound of rain hitting his umbrella encircled his words, and for a moment Hanzo thought he might have imagined them. But McCree was still standing there, gazing up at him earnestly from a couple steps down. He withdrew his hand from his door and turned to face him, even though they were still several feet apart. 

“...It is worth a great deal. Thank you, McCree.”

As if these words were an invitation, the man began to step up the stairs to breach the gap between them slowly. He rested his open umbrella by the door and held out both arms, a gesture reminiscent of the one from the previous evening. Hanzo was more than willing to oblige the silent request, and he stepped in to meet him with a hug goodnight. 

“Please call me Jesse.”

The words whispered against his ear were smooth and sweet as honey. He had not been expecting that, nor had he been expecting the subtle movement of Jesse’s thumb as it stroked between his shoulder blades, or the brush of his scruffy beard against his cheek. Hanzo wondered if the other man could feel the sudden pounding of his heart. He sighed through his nose quietly and lingered in the hold for as long as he could. In that moment, it seemed that perhaps both parties were waiting for the other to give a sign of stopping, but neither intended to. 

It was mutual when they both slowly broke away, as was the uncertain look they shared. The anticipation between them was palpable, but the silent conclusion was made on both sides to not push their luck tonight. Jesse broke the eye contact to pick up his umbrella, and Hanzo sifted through his keys to find the one to the front door. 

“I had a nice time tonight. Let’s do it again real soon.”

“As did I. Thank you for spending your evening with me… Jesse.” 

Hanzo watched his neighbor turn back into the rain to walk home in the dark. He retreated inside once the other was out of sight, certain that he was going to spend the rest of the night wondering if Jesse had wanted to end the date with a kiss, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Jesse's POV again. Thank you for reading! Your comments and kudos keep me motivated!!  
> ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse asks a hard question and gets closer to Hanzo.

“Thank’s for agreein’ to see me on such short notice.”

“Of course. You said you have something you wished to talk about?”

Jesse leaned back in the chair across from Angela’s desk. He rubbed at his jaw with his good hand as he gave his beard a thoughtful scratch. 

“Yeah… I was actually kinda hopin’ to get your advice on somethin’. I’m in kind of a weird situation.” 

Angela raised her brows and set down her pen. “I would certainly say so. But if you are talking about a new development, I am happy to lend an ear.”

McCree fell silent. Yes, this was definitely a new development in an already unfortunate situation. 

“Well… hm, how do I even start to explain this… okay, let me say it this way. I met someone who, uh, knows someone I do. Someone I used to work with.”

The doctor’s expression changed from contemplative to concerned in an instant.

“And you are thinking you need to relocate to avoid being recognized? This is perhaps something you should speak to the Marshal about…”

“No-- no, hold on. It ain’t like that, I highly doubt I’ll be recognized. Y’see… this fella I met-- let’s just call him ‘H’-- hasn’t seen the guy in twenty years or so.”

“So he has no connection now?”

“Yeah. But that’s actually part of the problem. H is the brother of my old coworker--erm, let’s call him ‘G’. He hasn’t seen him in so long ‘cause they got some bad blood between them. The thing is, H _wants_ to see him again. But he doesn’t even know where he is, or if he’s okay. I should at least tell G that H is lookin’ for him, right? Don’t you think that’d be the right thing to do?”

“You know one of the caveats of this program is to not contact anyone from your past life.”

“I know, I know, and G is also in WITSEC--”

“You really aren’t helping your case, Jesse.”

“--so I don’t even know how to get a hold of him if I wanted to. But I think if I just tell Winston what’s going on, maybe he can pass on the message.”

Jesse stared at the doctor across the table imploringly, waiting for her agreement. He was just looking for some kind of confirmation that yes, the correct thing to do was to reunite these two estranged siblings. Unfortunately, her expression was set and her mind apparently made up. 

“It sounds too risky for all three parties. Can you not see the potential dangers involved if you do this? Let’s say that G is reunited with H. Now G’s identity is revealed, essentially weakening the cover that Winston has worked hard to create. Furthermore, you say that they are not on good terms. What if their reunion ends poorly? Now H will have some very powerful information that could endanger G’s safety.”

“He ain’t like that,” Jesse grumbled. 

“Let us play devil’s advocate for now,” Angela continued, holding up a hand. “This is just the worst case scenario. But now let’s say that everything goes well. H has the closure he desires, but now he starts to wonder how G found him. There is a chance he could trace it back to you, and then he will start to doubt _you_. If your cover is blown, you will be at risk.”

Jesse remained silent. She had outlined one of his worries quite clearly. He had wanted to blurt out this information to Hanzo over dinner, but he knew that he had to just ignore it no matter how uncomfortable it made him. 

“And if your cover is blown and H knows who you are, _he_ could be at risk as well. Your enemy could use him to get to you.”

That one sealed the deal for him. Jesse slouched in his chair and tried to put a cigarette between his teeth, but the doctor tutted at him. 

“Not in my office.”

He took it right back out and pocketed it irritably. 

“He wouldn’t be a danger to me, let me tell ya that. He’s the genuine article-- a real nice guy.”

“Anyone can be a danger to anyone,” Angela said quietly. There was a soberness to her words that made even Jesse regard them carefully. The weight of her sentence and levelness of her gaze suggested that perhaps she had seen or experienced something similar in the past. “What is your relation with him? Are you a coworker?”

“He’s-- we’re--”

Jesse floundered for a moment, opening his palms and shrugging to indicate he did not have a label ready for their level of familiarity just yet. 

“I mean… we’re workin’ on some stuff. I think we might have some chemistry…”

The doctor’s look softened to one with more understanding. 

“I see. In that case, I would highly advise against doing any interfering. I know it is extremely difficult to sit back and do nothing when you are interested in this person, however a scorned love can have dire consequences. It is safer for everyone if you do not meddle in this. Once you have your old life back and this all blows over, you can bring it up then.”

“That ain’t really the answer I was hopin’ to hear.”

“Then you should not have asked someone other than yourself.”

That was fair. Jesse stood up from his chair and putzed around for a moment, pacing as if he might have more to say, then eventually went for his coat on the rack. 

“...Thanks for the insight, doc.”

“You are welcome. My door is always open to you, Jesse.”

\--

Okay, so he couldn’t tell Hanzo about Genji. Even though the man had gone to a vulnerable place and trusted him with this very personal secret. Even though Jesse himself could make those uncertainties go away and help two family members come back together. Even though it felt like lying every single time he saw him, texted him, or called him and said nothing about it. There was still the hope that once this all washed over, he _could_. For now, he would just have to hold on to that and pray that Hanzo would forgive him for the omission in the meantime. 

It did make it a little harder for Jesse to talk with him normally. Every time he saw Hanzo after their date and kept quiet about it, it felt like he was lying to him. It hurt. This was something Hanzo _deserved_ to know, but he just had to keep his mouth shut. It hurt to know that he was potentially dragging out his doubt and his guilt. 

_I think about that incident almost every day._

The poor man. How much was this weighing on him? It was his last family member…

But as the days progressed, the pain he felt for not telling him normalized and he slowly started to focus less on the secret and more on the man. He was seeing more of Hanzo lately, and being able to witness him smile and laugh occasionally did absolve his conscience somewhat. They chose to see each other after work, even on the days Jesse had late shifts. Their “dates” from then on were simple, and it included things like having a drink together or eating something quick one or the other of them would prepare. They even ordered takeout one night when no ingredients were inspiring them. 

Tonight, it was movie night.

The arrangement was simple; the host got to choose the movie, and the guest would bring the popcorn. Hanzo offered to host this time, and in all honestly Jesse was curious about what sort of flick he would choose. The man had confessed on their first date to not really being a “movie person”, so he was eager to see what he had settled on.

Jesse showed up with the agreed-upon snacks in hand. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for the other to let him in. When he opened the door, he slipped in before the two excited shibas could get out. 

“Hey! Happy Friday.”

“Good evening, Jesse. Happy Friday, indeed.”

The way Hanzo smiled when they greeted each other now gave him such a flutter in his chest. He couldn’t contain his own grin to see him light up just for him. He toed out of his boots and stepped out of the entryway to come inside. 

“I brought the goods,” he said with a flare as he held out the bag of popcorn. He also procured a box of chocolate covered caramels. He wasn’t a big fan of sweets himself, but they were more of a present for Hanzo. “Brought some sweets too, ‘cause what’s a movie without chocolate, right?”

“Hmm… I suppose,” Hanzo said with a small smile. “Since you brought them.”

They shared a hug, as they had become accustomed to doing upon seeing each other (outside of work, of course). While Hanzo went to go prep the popcorn, Jesse sat down on the couch to play with the dogs. He engaged in a bit of tug-of-war with Mako for a while as Jun came over to present his own toys to Jesse’s feet, waiting for his turn. 

“Go on, you two, leave him alone.” Hanzo declared as he came back into the room. He set the bowl of popcorn down on the glass table and picked up the remote.

“I’m dyin’ to know what you picked.” Jesse commented while the other man settled in on the couch. Hanzo always smelled faintly of something pleasant, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Definitely bergamot, and something warm like mahogany or amber. As the other sat next to him now, he was reminded of it.

“I chose something simple,” he said with a glance over to him. “It is a drama that one of my coworkers recommended. The starring actress has received several accolades. Have you seen it before?”

Hanzo handed over the box and Jesse inspected it. “Can’t say I have. Hm. A woman’s career and love life hinge on whether or not she catches a train. See it both ways, in parallel.” 

“Again, it was recommended by a coworker. I take no responsibility if it is terrible.”

Jesse laughed while Hanzo turned on the TV and scrolled through the main menu to start the movie. He pulled the bowl of popcorn onto his lap, resting it on the thigh closest to Hanzo so they could share it. It was just nice to have this to look forward to; the evenings that they spent together over the past week doing simple and low-impact things like this fueled him. Nothing fancy, and no expectations. 

In truth, the knowledge of Genji’s relationship to Hanzo had caused a panic in him that made Jesse question whether or not it was wise to pursue this. But it was getting harder and harder to resist seeing Hanzo, and at this casual pace they had set he was far more at ease. Jesse draped an arm over the back of the couch. He wasn’t touching the other man as he was, but the option was there if Hanzo felt comfortable with it. 

The movie began with a woman being fired from her job. Afterwards she missed her train, and from there the movie split into two parallel storylines. It was interesting and did have Jesse’s attention for most of the beginning, but about halfway through he was starting to feel the weight of the workday on him. Hanzo’s home was warm and comfortable, and at some point the other had reclined back enough to make contact with him. One of his dogs, either Mako or Jun, had decided that his feet made a nice pillow and was currently resting on them. It was just too cozy. 

As much as he wanted to see what happened to the protagonist and which timeline was the “real” one, he could not keep his eyes open for much longer.

\--

_“I have to tell someone, Genji. If he ain’t gonna come clean, I will.”_

_It was an awkward conversation that neither one of them wanted to have. The man beside him in the car looked physically uncomfortable at the mention of it. They were parked just outside the precinct in their squad car, but he had insisted they talk about this before going inside._

_“I understand.” His partner still looked uncertain despite his words. He was clearly still mulling over the whole situation. It had been shocking for both of them, but now was not the time to sit on their hands._

_“It’s been a few days and he hasn’t said a word. We gave him the chance. We gotta do this.”_

_This just made Genji look more crestfallen. He nodded slowly, his hand lingering on the door handle. “I know. But… this is Gabe. We have all been through so much. It is just hard to process. But you are right. It must be done.”_

_His partner’s words brought about a sigh from him. “I know it’s gonna be hard, but I really need your support on this.”_

_“You have it. Whatever the repercussions of this will be, I have your back.”_

_“An’ I’ve got yours.”_

_They shared a look of quiet resolve before stepping out of the vehicle. Genji had started to walk towards the precinct while Jesse grabbed his coffee and locked the car. He heard the man call back to him, but his words were suddenly indistinct and far away as if they were both underwater. In fact, everything around him was starting to feel blurred and abstracted._

_He glanced up over the top of the car just in time to see the windows of the building across from them shatter as a great force propulsed the interior of the building outward. His gut reaction was to move around the car to grab his partner, but the impact happened within an instant. He was knocked back and off his feet by the explosion and connected hard with the pavement beneath him. The last thing he saw before an incredible amount of pain overwhelmed him was the wheel of his overturned squad car spinning next to an ashen grey sky._

\--

Jesse jolted forward with a choked shout. His heart was racing and he had started to sweat. It took him a moment to recognize where he was or what was going on. He must have fallen asleep during the movie, because there was a knit throw draped over him and the bowl of popcorn had been set back down on the coffee table. The movie was still playing, so it must have been a short rest.

“Jesse? Are you all right?”

A groggy voice reminded him that he had not been watching this movie alone, and he turned to his side. Hanzo was also underneath the throw, and appeared to have been comfortably snoozing against his shoulder before the sudden outburst. But he was wide awake now, staring up at him with an expression thick with concern. 

“I-- y-yeah,” he managed to get out, disentangling himself from the other. He was in too vulnerable a place right now for such close contact. He needed a little space. Maybe a little air, too.

“Do you mind if I-- can I grab a smoke on your patio?”

“Of course, go ahead.” Hanzo seemed receptive enough to understand Jesse’s body language. He too removed the throw from over his shoulders and set it aside before standing and showing him to the backyard. 

Hanzo’s lawn was nicely manicured, just as scrupulous as the owner himself. There was a small varnished wood veranda with a patio loveseat, some chairs and a table. Past that and down a few steps was a little grass plot with hedges surrounding the perimeter. Towards the back wall was a small rocky waterfall feature with what appeared to be a little pond at the bottom and some tiny flood lights on either side. It was quaint and quite nice, but he was not in the mindset to admire the scenery. 

He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and fumbled with his lighter while he paced on the deck. Walking sometimes helped. Once the cigarette was lit and he took a few puffs, he sat down on the nearest bench and stared up at the night sky. The silhouette of downtown could be seen distinctly from Hanzo’s patio, as could the light pollution. But towards the west, he could still see some stars. 

While he was attempting to stargaze, he heard the sound of ceramic on glass. He turned his attention to the sound to see a mug with a tea bag inside set before him.

“Chamomile,” Hanzo said simply. The man was lingering beside him, now wearing his coat over his casual wear and holding Jesse’s in his hands. His first thought was that he probably wanted to hurry him out, but when he handed it over his words said otherwise. 

“I thought you might be cold out here.”

Jesse felt himself smiling weakly as he extended a hand to take it. It was still trembling slightly. 

“Well thank you, Han. That’s awful kind of you.”

“...Would you prefer I leave you be?”

The events leading up to Jesse taking a smoke outside may have indicated that he wanted some alone time. Yet with Hanzo standing there in his coat already on, looking like he was doing what he could to make him comfortable, it was hard to say no. 

“I’d prefer you stay.” He answered truthfully. 

When the man sat next to him, they both fell quiet. He worked through about half a cigarette before he heard his host pipe up.

“Nightmares?”

Jesse nodded and stubbed out his cigarette. The man had bothered to make him up a cup of tea, so he would seek the comfort of that instead.

“Yeah. About the accident. It’s still so fresh in my mind… I just keep relivin’ it.”

He took a few sips of tea, and remarkably it did soothe him a little. It was still chilly enough outside to warrant a coat, and the warmth of it going down his throat to settle in his chest was very welcome. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to doze off there an’ ruin movie night.”

“You did not ruin anything, and there is nothing to apologize for.”

There was a moment of hesitation before he felt a consoling hand on his back. In the few weeks that he had gotten to know him, Hanzo had not been the type to normally initiate physical contact. This was a real show of just how close they had become now, and how comfortable they each felt now in the presence of one another. Jesse’s smile now was genuine and grateful. 

“You’re sweet as a peach.”

It must have been an attempt to make Jesse forget about his dreams, because Hanzo had started talking in a hushed voice about the origin story of his pond. He said that they used to have one back at his old home in Japan, although it was much larger and spanned half the yard with a bridge and even a small gazebo to the side. He admitted that his own was paltry in comparison to that one, but it was an element from his past that he found comfort in and wanted to incorporate into his new life here.

Jesse was grateful for the distraction. He even asked if they could walk through his yard to see it, and Hanzo gladly took him on a little tour. He left his tea behind as they walked down the stone-laid walkway to get to the edge of the pond. It was perhaps as wide as Jesse was tall, and the waterfall feature came up to about half the size of the tall wall blocking off his yard from the next. 

“I’ll be damned, there are really fish in there.”

“Of course, what is a pond without fish?”

He knelt to get a better look at them, and Hanzo sat with him on the grass. This time the silence was comfortable, Jesse inspecting the water and its inhabitants with Hanzo at his side, seemingly happy that the man was enjoying it too. 

“...Thanks, Han. For… yknow.”

He turned to the man beside him, who appeared to have understood his meaning. His usually austere feature were softened both by Jesse’s words and the faint glow of the moon over head. His eyes reflected a compassion he had not seen before, but he had not yet been this vulnerable in front of him to have the opportunity. He was being a handful right now, and his host was nothing but kind about it. Hanzo set his hand atop his own and gave it a light squeeze. 

“I hope you do not think that I am just casually interested in you, Jesse. You… make me happy, and I would like to be able to do the same for you. ”

Never more strongly than in this moment had Jesse wanted to confess everything to Hanzo. He wanted to tell him his name, tell him who he really was and what he had been through, why he was here, and what might happen to him. He wanted to tell him about Genji, and to say that he would too wanted to do everything he could to make him happy. 

All he could safely do now, though, was express his feelings truly to him and try to make him happy as Jesse McCree. 

“You do. A lot more than you know.”

He lifted his hand to brush over the side of Hanzo’s face. His thumb traced his cheekbone, and the subtle scritch of his diligently trimmed beard against his palm compared to the smoothness of his skin felt rather nice. Upon being touched, Hanzo tipped his head subtly to lean into the hand and closed his eyes. Jesse was testing the water, and the water was inviting him in. When Hanzo opened his eyes again, he leaned down to kiss him. 

He had spent many of his evenings thinking of this, wondering what it would feel like to kiss Hanzo Shimada. Whatever he might have envisioned in the loneliness of his living room did not hold a candle to the actual moment. His lips were soft and inviting. Upon contact, the man drew in a breath through his nose and hummed pleasantly. The greatest surprise, though, was the addition of Hanzo's hands looping slowly around his shoulders, keeping him there. 

This emboldened him to take the kiss further. His lips parted to take Hanzo's between his teeth lightly, first playfully, and then with a flick of his tongue to test the boundaries. The reaction was nothing but glowing; it seemed like that simple motion had made Hanzo magnetic to him. At some point, Jesse's arms must haves looped around the man, because when he finally drew away for a breath Hanzo was fully enveloped and pressed perfectly up against him, chest to chest and forehead to forehead.

The two of them both took a moment in the silence of the night around them to catch their breath. That had turned out to be a little more animated than either of them had anticipated. Eventually Jesse chuckled nervously and lowered his hands back to his side.

“It's gettin’ late… I should probably head on back.”

Hanzo looked down at the pond before them and considered this quietly.

“Unless… you would rather stay?” 

He posed curiously. The glance he paired with this question was a mixture of inquisitive and hopeful. Jesse's logical mind was telling him to refuse the offer and go home, but every other fiber of his being was begging him to just accept. And if nothing else, Jesse McCree was a creature of impulse.

“I think I'd rather stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Hanzo's POV! Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo lets Hana in. Jesse loses a shirt and Hanzo questions his work-life balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIED I'M SORRY this chapter was too long with the explicit stuff included so I edited it out for next chapter. Also I wanted to give any readers who are underage the ability to read the plot before they skip the next chapter.
> 
> BUT NOW I am certain the next chapter is +18 only. I will do my best to make sure there is no plot, just smut that can be skipped!

The Nasdaq was up by a whole percent. Good. This was turning out to be a good morning, despite the fact that he’d had to work on his slides in the breakroom for the last half an hour.

Hanzo had been “kicked out” of his office so that the SombraTech IT could install some software on his computer. In fact, most of the sales team was also lingering outside of their cubicles waiting for the same thing. Some were chatting with the poor technicians just trying to do their job, while others were getting a bit of downtime in the break room. Hana was one of them. When she had made eye contact with the generally reclusive Shimada, she made a beeline towards him.

“Expense report?”

Before she could even open her mouth, Hanzo disarmed her handily with this simple question. Hana stopped in her tracks, and Hanzo’s attention returned to his laptop.

“Wh- I turned it in already!”

Hanzo tipped his head down and raised both eyebrows at her pointedly, a clear and definitive reply that no, she had not turned it in already.

“I did-- unless it’s still on my desk.”

“I do not know why you are procrastinating on this, it is _your_ money.”

Hana took a seat across from him once she had gotten herself a coffee. Hanzo went back to typing. He may have been temporarily relocated to the break room, but he was trying to make it very clear that he was by no means on a “break”.

“I’ve just been busy. We have back-to-back shows coming up and I’ve had to coordinate meetings with our vendors. Do you know how many people I have to call?”

“I understand. However, you are not the only one who is busy, Ms. Song.” Hanzo said somewhat irritably. He glanced up from his work sharply to regard the salesperson across from him, who was currently doctoring up her coffee with a mound of vanilla flavored creamers she had snagged. His pointed look went unnoticed. “In three days I am going to be out of the office for an entire week. If I do not get your report in before we close the books, it will not be accounted for until next month. I do not want to micromanage, but I will if I have to.”

“All right, _all right_ , I’ll hand it in before I leave tonight.”

Hanzo grunted his approval without looking up from his screen. A small victory and one less thing to worry about, another reason it was a good morning. 

“Anyway, speaking of tonight, we’re going to Ricky’s again after work. If you’re really as busy as you say, you could use a break too. Come with us!”

Hanzo actually stopped typing when he heard the invitation. Ugh. One of his biggest regrets of the entire year was going to that bar. Losing Mako had been such a headache, and he did not even enjoy himself that evening… Fortunately, he could say with a clean conscience that he already had plans. 

“I cannot, I have an engagement tonight.”

“If you say ‘with your presentation’ I might vomit. You work too much.”

“I work just the right amount,” he quipped, closing his laptop to prove a point. This was beginning to feel like a conversation now, and it was hard to focus on what he was doing with Hana talking to him anyway. Some people just could not take the hint that he was working. “But no, it is not. It is with a person.”

Hana nearly choked on her coffee. She set the cup down loud enough that it made a clack on the table. 

“A person! A person who isn’t me? No way, did you finally make a friend?!”

“Your teasing is unappreciated,” Hanzo said dryly. But Hana did have a point. She was the only person he bothered to talk to about non-work related things. Or at least, she was the only one who approached him to talk about it. In the past, she had been there for him when he had needed it, and he liked to think that he offered her the same support. 

On more than one occasion she had taken him out to dinner after a particularly hard deadline to let him rant about it over dim sum. In return, he occasionally indulged her by going out when she wanted to try a new restaurant or just chat about something on her end. She would petsit his dogs while he was away, and he had at least once or twice picked her up from some bar at two in the morning because she had either lost her wallet or gotten in a fight with the guy she went with. Three in the morning ice cream usually ensued after that.

Perhaps she was more of a friend than a coworker at this point.

“However, if you must know… it is someone that I have become… involved with.”

Hana looked as though she might erupt from the sudden amount of energy climbing through her. She grabbed the table, and for a moment he honestly wondered if she might upend it. Instead she used it to thrust herself back and stand up, walking around the table to stand right next to Hanzo. 

“Okay, you’re taking your lunch now.” She grabbed the crook of his elbow and gave it a tug, which actually did convince him to stand up. The force of her personality was strong when she got like this. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that on me and get away with it. I want to know everything about this guy, how you met, what he’s like, what his intentions are with my financial manager--”

Hanzo had barely had time to grab his laptop and put it away before Hana pulled him out of the room and towards the elevator. He certainly could have disengaged if he had wanted to. But the truth of the matter was that he had been actually hoping for an excuse to talk to someone about this. He had not been in a relationship for such a long time, in fact he had not even gone on a date since he had first moved to the states. Now that he was tentatively in one, he wanted to at least mention it to someone else. And potentially gather some insight on his situation. An informed decision was a good decision. 

The restaurant Hana chose was the Americana cafe in the Axiom plaza. She first asked the pertinent question of whether or not it was a coworker, and after receiving a very firm “no” decided it was safe to go somewhere nearby to chat about it. 

“Sooo,” Hana started once they were seated and had placed their orders. She looked positively famished for information. “Tell me everything. Who is this guy? How did you meet? Is he hunky?”

Hanzo scoffed while he made a show of unfolding his napkin and looking anywhere else. “Honestly, this is not as big of a deal as you are making it seem. He is just someone new to the neighborhood. We met over coffee, I suppose.” He conveniently left out the detail of having a rough first-impression of him. He took a drink of water to consider what else to say. He was not very good at talking about other people, because he did not often engage in small talk in the first place. “He just moved here recently to start a new career.”

“Ohh, so what’s his business?”

Hanzo hesitated for a moment, not out of embarrassment but uncertainty. He was not actually sure what Jesse’s goal was, just the details of his situation at present. “Well, he is… currently a barista.”

“A barista? As in a coffee barista?”

“Is there another type?” Hanzo answered skeptically. “Yes. He works at the coffee shop on the corner.” He said while musing with a tilt of his head to the direction of Kofi Aromo.

“Geeze, is he in an apartment or something? How can he afford it out here working just as a barista? I’ve got two roommates and you’ve seen my paycheck.” Hana commented with a roll of her eyes as the server came by with their appetizers. Hanzo frowned at the comment, feeling some heat rise to his face on Jesse’s behalf. 

“He is--”

That… was a very good point. He had briefly wondered how McCree was going to manage without a job when they had first met, but since he was working full time now it hadn’t crossed his mind again. There were a few reasons he could think of. Perhaps he had some recent inheritance, for example. But it was a little strange that it had not even come up.

“No, he is living in the house across the street from me,” he finally answered, staring down at the caprese salad in front of him with some confusion. Hana did not pick up on it, in fact she had moved on from her half-hearted comment entirely. 

“So how was your first date?”

“Do you remember the French restaurant you took me to last year? The one you said had two Michelin stars?”

“Oh yeah. The Petite something?”

“Yes. I took him there.”

“And?”

“It was terrible. He was so uncomfortable that I suggested we leave.”

Hana made a sympathetic face and Hanzo shrugged, putting his fork to his salad at long last. 

“I think we made a decent recovery, though. I took him to Main street afterwards to get something more casual. It was like night and day.”

“Aw, I’m so proud of you. Always have a contingency plan, huh?”

They settled into a more generic flow of conversation about street food compared to fancy restaurant food, and Hana started talking about some of her newest finds. At one point, she took Hanzo’s phone from him to install a restaurant-rating app she mentioned a lot, despite his protesting that he was not going to use anything superfluous on his phone. 

“So did you guys… you know,” she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows as she handed the phone back. “Is he good?”

The server set down their meals just in time for Hanzo to turn beet red. He stared down at his pasta with a great amount of hesitation. Hana talked about this sort of thing to him before, but he had _never_ divulged such himself. Not that there was ever anything on his end. 

“ _No_ , we have not. And even if we had, I would not tell you such details.”

“Boo.”

Hana took a rather large bite of her burger and Hanzo took a moment to spool some pasta onto his fork. Yes, Jesse had stayed the night a few days ago, but that was the closest they had gotten. Even then, the poor man had just had a nightmare about his recent traumatic accident. He was not insensitive enough to try anything while he was in that state of mind. They had settled for returning to the couch and snuggling up under a knit throw until they both fell asleep. 

The kiss though… even now he felt a little guilty about that, but in the moment it seemed like Jesse had initiated. Should he have been more firm and withheld? Would it have been cold-hearted of him if he had? 

As he was finishing up his pasta, his phone buzzed. He picked it up to see that he had gotten an email with a “high importance” flag. He opened it thinking he would just skim it, but as he read further down his frown increased. Hana must have sensed it was bad. 

“What’s up?”

“I am sorry, I have to cut this short.”

He signaled for the server and requested a box before he began fishing through his wallet for some money. He put a few bills down on the table and rose from his seat once the waiter came back with his leftovers. 

“Oh… ok. Well, see you later Casanova. Good luck with your man tonight~”

Hanzo rolled his eyes and put his coat back on before heading to the door. Judging from this email, he would be lucky if he even got to have a date tonight.

\--

“Hey! Wasn’t expectin’ you to call so early. Sorry, I’m still at work but I snuck away to take your call. What’s up?”

“Jesse…”

Hanzo pushed a hand over his eyes while the other held his phone to his ear. He was starting to get a headache from staring at his screen for so long. 

“I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately I will not be able to see you tonight.”

There was a pause on the other end. Was it disappointment or irritation? 

“Oh… sure, no problem. Are you okay? What’s goin’ on?”

It was a small relief that at least Jesse sounded more concerned than aggravated about this last minute cancellation. Tonight was going to be a legitimate date; they had made plans to go to a new sushi place called Maru that had just opened up. Hanzo had been eager to try it and asked Jesse about it a few days prior. But sadly, there was just no time for him to do that now. 

“I am fine,” he answered quietly. He gave Mako’s head a scritch, who was curled up next to him on the couch as he sat with his laptop on his thighs and paperwork beside him. “Something has come up before my business trip this week, and I have to make sure it is finished in time. I am so sorry to cancel on you like this.”

“Hey, it’s all right,” Jesse assured him smoothly. In all likelihood, Hanzo was more upset about this phone call than McCree. “I’ve been monopolizin’ your time anyway. Are you still at work? I could swing by after my shift? Just to say hi, I promise.”

As much as Hanzo would have liked that, he knew it was a bad idea to see him tonight. Not if he wanted to get anything done. 

“No, I left for the day. The one small mercy in this situation. I brought my work laptop with me to work from home.”

“Ahh, gotcha. Well, what if-- oh, shit, I gotta run. I’ll call you later, but good luck with your workload!”

“Thank you...”

Hanzo ended the call and set his phone aside with a defeated sigh. He would much rather be spending this evening with the man he was casually seeing, but work had to come first. The vice president had sent him an email telling him to revise everything, and to include some materials he had not even originally accounted for in his presentation. He was honestly furious with the man for not telling him about this in the first place, back when he had started the project an entire month ago. But there was no use getting angry now. It was crunch time, he would just have to fit four weeks worth of work into two days. Somehow.

After all of this, he was honestly considering giving his resignation. This was just disrespectful, and not the first time the VP had dropped something in his lap as if his time was worth nothing. Did he think that just because Hanzo was salaried he could get away with _expecting_ him to do overtime like this almost every day?

He worked for several hours without getting up, occasionally shifting so that his legs wouldn’t fall asleep. He did eventually have to move just to keep himself awake, but it was just relocating to the dining room table. He had just sat down and observed the time when he heard a knock at his front door. 

By this point, he figured that any unexpected call or visitor would be Jesse. Although he would have liked that, he was actually hoping it would be someone else. If his wildly attractive neighbor came over now, when he had so much work to do and so little drive to do it, he might not get anything done. He sighed and stood up from his computer to go answer the door.

Sure enough, he was not wrong. When was he ever?

“Hey, Han.”

The man had on blue jeans and a black v-neck, which meant he must have gone home to change. Had Hanzo not communicated well enough that he could not see him tonight?

“Jesse,” he said, sounding perhaps as tired as he was. Yet before he could continue, the man held up a hand in a sort of ‘hear me out’ gesture.

“I know, I promise I won’t stay if you want me to go…” 

He held up the take-out bag he was holding in his other hand. There was a circular brush stroke logo around kanji that Hanzo recognized immediately. Jesse had gone to get some food from Maru. 

“But I just thought y’might be too busy to get yourself somethin’, and I wanna know that you’re at least eatin’ right.”

As he stepped to the side to let Jesse come in, he wondered to himself how he had let it get so late without eating dinner. He had not even thought about it yet and it was well past nine o’clock now. 

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I bought a couple of things. I actually asked ‘em what was popular and just chose that. Sorry, I guess there’s still a lot I don’t know about you yet.”

He laughed light-heartedly while he removed a few containers from the bag. Salmon, Tuna, and a few makizushi to choose from. Hanzo came up to stand beside him and stared down at the food, and then up at the man. 

“You went to Maru?”

“Yeah, turns out they let you do takeout. Thought it was worth a shot.”

It may have been the work stress mounting and the hours of mind-numbing revisions he’d had to endure, but this simple and thoughtful action almost made him want to break down. Especially considering Jesse did not have a car and Maru was on the edge of town. At this hour, he would have had to take a cab all the way there. Just for him. 

“Thank you, Jesse…” he whispered, feeling a lump in his throat forming behind his words. He was so grateful to the man just for visiting him in the middle of the evening and showing him that someone valued him. He turned to give the man a firm hug, which drew a quiet chuckle out of him.

“Oh-- hey, you’re welcome!” He said with a tone of genuine surprise. “An’ just as promised, I’ll be outta your hair if you wanna focus on your work.”

“No,” Hanzo insisted, pulling back and staring up at him insistently. “This is far too much food for one person. In fact, this could easily feed a family of four. What were you thinking?” He said with a weak laugh, trying to hide the emotion that was bubbling up. 

“Well, y’know, better safe than sorry.”

They took about half an hour together to decompress and dine. Between himself and McCree, they were able to finish off most of what he had brought back. The only thing that remained was about half a tray of cucumber maki. Both men had instinctively gone for the meat first. Hanzo mentioned that it was a shame they could not just enjoy it slowly over some spirits, and confessed that that was one of his all-time favorite meals: nice cold sushi paired with hot sake. 

“Next time,” Jesse promised with a smile that lit the room. “When this is all over an’ you’re back from your trip, I’ll take you to the nicest sushi joint you can think of and buy you all the sake you like.”

“Please. You cannot afford my expensive tastes,” he said with a very fake scoff, and they both caved in laughter. 

He did eventually have to return to his work, but it was nice to have a break in between the monotony of flipping through his powerpoint. He mentioned that Jesse could stay as long as he liked, granted he let Hanzo do his work quietly, and the man was incredibly respectful about it. He sat across from him with a book he’d snagged from the living room and just held his hand across the table while Hanzo worked. Occasionally Hanzo would pull it back and say “I need this” to type something or flip through his materials, but once he was done and could proceed single-handedly (literally) he would place it back within Jesse’s reach. 

He glanced up inconspicuously every now and again when he lost his focus to look at Jesse. It was rare that he could get a glimpse of him without the other knowing it. But Jesse seemed quite drawn to the book he had chosen, so he was none the wiser. 

The man had a peculiar way of humming quietly when he exhaled heavily enough, which he soon realized was what was pulling his attention. Over the edge of his laptop screen, his eyes traced the outline of Jesse's face each time he did so. Down his strong jaw and along the curve of his neck. The simple v-neck t-shirt he wore did not hide the broadness of his shoulders or the sturdiness of his chest. 

“Lookin's free,”

Ah, perhaps he had not been as inconspicuous as he thought. When he lifted his eyes, Jesse was peering back at him. The man gave him a wink. He had been caught.

“Don't you have work to be doin’, Mr. Shimada?”

Hanzo cast his eyes back down to his notes, but couldn't hide his smirk.

“I told you that you could stay only if you did not distract me,” he reminded him lightly. “And being that attractive in a form-fitting shirt is very distracting. I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

McCree chortled smoothly and withdrew his hand to sit back and look down at himself. 

“I can take it off, will I be allowed to stay then?”

Oh dear. This was going in a direction it shouldn't, considering the amount of work he had to do. But he was almost to the goal he had set for the evening, and this sort of teasing back-and-forth with McCree was too intriguing to pass up. He often wondered how far they would take it when they began this sort of passive flirting, but it never went farther than a few snickers on either side. Much to his remorse.

“Heh, aw I'm just kiddin’, I know you got work t--”

Hanzo had extended his foot to drag slowly up the inside of Jesse's calf while he crossed one leg under the table. He maintained eye contact while he did so.

“It would not hurt.”

The message had been received loud and clear, as he was certain he had never seen Jesse look so flustered before. He grinned behind the cover of his laptop screen. Being the one to bring about that blush on the usually flirtatious man across from him was a great feat, and one he would revel in for a while.

“Cause… cause I _can_...”

Jesse spoke as if his words were now being very seriously considered by him. Hanzo made a mental note to try and get him this flustered more often.

“I will write you a formal invitation, if you would like.” He teased back. 

Again, the side of his foot found McCree's calf, moving up to about his knee. His toes just barely grazed his inner thigh, causing the man across from him jumped about a half a foot. He grinned meekly and started to tug at the hem of his shirt thoughtfully before actually pulling it up and off. 

Oh no, this was a mistake. His powerpoint was not going to get done tonight.

Jesse was as firmly built as his clothing had led Hanzo to believe. He was barrel chested and pleasantly fluffy, but with all that definition he did have some softness around the abdomen. Softness that he wanted very desperately to reach out and run his hands over. He let slip a little hum of approval as he brushed his fingers down his own jaw.

“Mm… well, there is certainly no way I can ask you to leave now.” 

Jesse laughed while Hanzo rose to his feet and walked around to the other side of the table. Somehow the man still looked so comfortable, even when only half dressed, which added to the overall allure. Hanzo leaned down to take Jesse's face with both hands on either side and give him a light peck on the lips. They were still new enough to this that even the most simple and chaste kisses were electric and stimulating. 

“You sure about this?” Jesse asked below him. Hanzo spared a glance to his materials scattered across the table and then returned his eyes to the man beneath him. He could feel Jesse’s hands suddenly on his hips, their presence light and questioning. He should be responsible and do his work first. But his work would likely not be finished until the morning of his presentation. He would honestly be working on it during the flight over at this point.

How many hours, how many _days_ of his life was he going to waste struggling to meet deadlines? Covering for others who did not respect him or his time? Being taken advantage of by some corporation that assumed he could do more work because he did not have a family? He could feel his old self barking at him to just get it done, because it was for the good of the company. But a company was not a living thing. Hanzo was. And _Jesse_ was. If he started putting presentations before this man in front of him, this charming and sweet man who had gone across town in a taxi to bring him some comfort food, when would it stop? Would it drive him away, too?

At some point his thumbs had started grazing alongside the man’s face, from cheekbone to jaw and back up. He kissed him more eagerly this time. 

“I have never been more sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I already wrote most of it, the next chapter will remain in Hanzo's POV. Thank you for reading! ♥


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter is +18 for explicit content!***
> 
> Hanzo gets some.

Hanzo has not even bothered to turn on the bedroom lights as they stumbled into the room. They had thrown themselves in with a frenzy of discarded clothes and blind movements backward towards the nearest piece of furniture. Jesse had made first contact with the bed, and buckled to a sitting position once his thighs hit the mattress. Hanzo was quick to follow, perched atop his lap with his knees on either side of him. 

The way Jesse kissed him set him ablaze. Moments earlier he had been tired and downtrodden, but with the man’s tongue skimming his own while his broad hands roamed up underneath his dress shirt, he felt invigorated. He gasped as both calloused and metallic fingertips brushed over his sensitive front, and he made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt and discarding it. Jesse pulled away from the kiss when he needed a breath, and something caught his eye to distract him. 

“Woah-- wasn’t expectin’ you to have ink. I like it,”

There was a soft chuckle from the man below him, and he realized he must have never shown him the tattoo on his left arm. He did have a tendency to always wear business casual at minimum. 

“I will tell you about it later.”

“Damn, you are full of surprises. You drive me crazy, darlin’.”

Hanzo dove to claim his mouth with another kiss, and the confirmation he needed was in Jesse’s response. More accurately, directly underneath where he was sitting. He shifted in his lap, and the friction was enough to make him moan into the kiss. This must have goaded Jesse on, because he soon felt arms around his middle and some added pressure between his legs. The man was grinding up into him slowly. His eyes fluttered and he moved back to press his cheek against Jesse’s. 

This was really going to happen. It had been so long since he had been intimate with another person… in fact, it had been right around the time he had first moved out of Japan eighteen years ago. That had been a tumultuous time for him, having just lost his family and his father's company, and during that time he had sought comfort in any direction. But they were shallow comforts that only scratched the surface. This man before him was so much more wholesome and good than anything he had thought he would find. He was genuine, and kind, and he actually _liked_ Hanzo. 

The pressure was on to do this evening right, so that it would continue this way.

“Hey--” Jesse murmured against his neck. His breath was impossibly warm in the slight chill of the room. Goosebumps were forming down his arms. “You-- got any stuff?”

“Stuff…” he repeated in a haze, sucking a line of kisses down McCree’s neck. The man’s moans were a reward on their own. “What do you mean by ‘stuff’?” 

“Y’know… like…” McCree’s hands had settled on Hanzo’s hips. His thumbs were both rubbing along his hip bones and up to his obliques. “A little somethin’ to help things go smoothly?” Hanzo must have looked confused, because Jesse continued with another euphemism. “Somethin’ to grease the wheels? I'm talkin’ about lube, Han.”

“Oh-!” Hanzo straightened up, both hands on Jesse’s chest. Oh _no_. He didn’t have anything like that. Why would he? On those rare instances he had some kind of lewd desires he usually just took care of it in the shower. “No… but let me try to find something.” He frowned and started to shift to get down, but Jesse kept him there with a sweet kiss to the center of his chest and both open palms at the small of his back.

“I'll get it, I know a couple things we can use in a pinch. You sit tight an’ get comfy.”

Thank god, he was not looking forward to clearing “safe household lubricants” from his search history on his phone. He didn't fight McCree on this one, letting him get up from underneath him while he waited half-dressed on the edge of the bed.

The longer he sat there, the more anxious he became. He was nearly forty years old and had so little experience, would Jesse judge him for it? It was not unheard of for someone to want to end a relationship because of a lousy night in bed… would Jesse be like that if things did not go well?

_Now is not the time for doubt. This is hardly a challenge! Just approach this as you do everything else, and you will come out on top. You are Hanzo Shimada, and you can do anything you put your mind to._

His confidence popped in to give him a little pep talk just before McCree stepped back into the room. He was holding a cup with a bit of pale liquid inside. He set it on the nightstand victoriously.

“Ta-da! Olive oil. Nature's lube.”

Hanzo chuckled as Jesse joined him on the bed. Now that they had broken off for that little detour, both men were a bit timid to start back up again. But a quick glimpse of Jesse's expression, his smile lined with patience but his eyes burning with hunger, had Hanzo turning to quickly mount his lap again. 

Mouths were forced together roughly and hands clambered to get a feel wherever they could on both ends. Hanzo sat back on Jesse's thighs for a moment as he looked down at the man, then slowly pushed him backwards onto the bed. McCree willingly plopped back, grinning as Hanzo's hands made short work of his belt.

He edged the waist of his jeans down enough to get a glimpse of the base of him. He scooted back a little further on his lap to tug at the fabric some more until he could pull him free. McCree was thick, and quite long, but perhaps that was not so surprising considering how tall the man was. Still, holding such girth in his palm made Hanzo hard as a rock, as if we wasn't already. 

“Hey, Han?”

Jesse was craning his neck to look up at him, his smile wavering.

“Just feel like communication's important. You, uh… how were you thinkin’ of doin’ this?”

Was it possible that Jesse was more nervous about this than he was? Sure, Hanzo was the sort of person to take control without being told, and yes he could pull some confidence out of nowhere when he needed it. But even though he was straddling Jesse's thighs with one hand on his chest and the other firmly grasping his cock with an air of experience, he was just winging all of this.

“...Well, is there a direction you would like this to go?” He countered, clearing his throat. “I am flexible.”

“I mean, I'm just thrilled to be doin’ anythin’ with you,” Jesse began, which made Hanzo smile reflexively, “but if I'm bein’ honest… it's been a long time since I've been with anyone. I don't know if I wanna rush this, or do anythin’ that might make either of us physically uncomfortable. Y'know, like… invasive stuff.”

That was fair, and honestly a relief to Hanzo. He gently released Jesse and scooted off his lap to sit beside him, and the man perched up on his elbows.

“I understand. What would you like to do, then?”

“I was thinkin’ we could start with somethin’ light an’ playful and just go from there. May I?”

He switched Hanzo places and mused for the other man to lie back. Hanzo complied without hesitation, allowing the other man to do as he pleased. If he had a definite idea of how comfortable he was and what he would like to try, Hanzo was more than happy to let him take the reins.

He watched Jesse step out of his jeans before sitting back down at the edge of the bed. He dipped his fingertips into the cup on the dresser and gave Hanzo a little smile. He moved to straddle his middle and gave his own fingertips a kiss with a wink down at him before lowering his head. 

_Ohhh_ , that was a very nice trick. The slickness of the oil coating his lips made their trail along his chest excite just about every nerve in his body. Simultaneously, Jesse's mouth and fingertips moved to either side of him to claim hold of both his nipples. The gasp that Hanzo made was unintentional, as was the throaty moan that followed upon the introduction of a tongue to one side and a pinching twist to the other. 

That sensation alone was going to make him lose it. He could feel the throbbing between his legs match his heartbeat, while his pants were growing uncomfortably tight. Jesse had to shift himself down to accommodate this new position, and at some point he slid between Hanzo's thighs. Hanzo had planned to react to this whole endeavor in a dignified sort of way, but already he was arching his chest up needily and panting one soft moan after another. The added pressure of Jesse's erection pressed against his own did not help.

“Jesse…”

He uttered the man's name as his hands went to smooth through his hair. The man seemed to comprehend the roll of Hanzo's hips well enough, and his hands moved down to undo the closure of his slacks. He watched Jesse leave a line of kisses down his abdomen until he reached his stomach. Hanzo's brows knit together and he got up onto his elbows.

“Can I make a confession?” Jesse started with a little sideways smirk as he kissed along the space between his hip bone and groin muscle. “I’ve wanted to suck you off ever since you texted me sayin’ I was naughty.”

“Oh? You are only proving my point, then.”

Jesse snickered as he pulled Hanzo free from his pants. Again he reached back to dip a few fingers into the oil and come back to toy with him. A little of that went a long way, his palm was already coated in the stuff as he worked his hand slowly up Hanzo's length. 

“If you keep that up, there will be nothing left for you.”

They both chuckled at the comment and Jesse hunkered down between his legs. Hanzo shifted and angled his hips as Jesse positioned him, watching him eagerly. This was not something he had ever given or received, so if it was pleasant he would like to observe so that he might return the favor to--

_Ohhh…_

As soon as those soft lips connected with his tip, Hanzo was seeing stars. He let his head fall back onto the bed and briefly closed his eyes to revel in the feeling. Jesse's hand was skillfully squeezing and pumping the base of him in a gentle gyration. It layered so pleasantly with the ministrations of his mouth. His lips had parted to allow an impossibly warm tongue to lap at him, and he was keeling with each slow drag. He endured this sensual torture for several minutes until he was sure he would not be able to last much longer. When Jesse started to take him more fully into his mouth and down his throat, he had to let it be known.

“Slow down… it is too much…”

Jesse was very attentive to his needs, because as soon as the plea left him he did just that. His hand slowed to a stop, and his lips closed to settle for gently kissing up along the underside of his erection.

“Any more and I will finish before you can even start,” he said with a weak chuckle.

“Aw honey, it ain't a race. ‘Sides, I like watchin’ you wriggle like that.” The man sat upright between his legs and dipped a bit more liberally into the cup of oil. “Some time I'd like to taste you a little more fully,” Jesse teased, leaving Hanzo to wonder about the implications of it. The man pressed his own cock down against Hanzo's and held them both together with his good hand. He leaned back down, resting on his metallic elbow, and Hanzo met him halfway with a kiss.

He could taste himself on Jesse's lips. It was strange, but this close to his climax it only served to stoke the fire within him. He threw his arms around Jesse's strong shoulders while the man stroked both their arousals with an oil-slicked palm. Their moans clashed together, and with each pump Hanzo sought to get closer and grind harder up against his partner. Chest to chest as they were, he could feel Jesse's breathing escalating with his own. 

He could recall whispering the man's name against his lips, and that whisper turned into a sharp cry as he came in a white hot flash, vaguely aware of the ropes of cum spilling onto his stomach. Jesse's hand was still moving furiously between them to reach the same point as him, and the over simulation forced a sound between a gasp and a whimper from him. It was almost painful, but basking in the afterglow as he was, he vehemently didn't want it to stop. He almost began humoring the idea that perhaps he could go a second time right away. But he felt the man above him shiver violently and moan into his kiss, and he pulled him down to lay fully atop him. Jesse conceded, collapsing in the defeat of his own orgasm.

Panting was difficult with Jesse on top of him, but he enjoyed the weight of him. His whole body felt like it was throbbing, and waves of pleasure were still ebbing and flowing all the way to his fingertips and curled toes. At length, he heard the man above him murmur against his neck.

“Sorry, bet m’heavy.”

Jesse rolled over to at least only lay on him partially. Hanzo shook his head weakly, still catching his breath.

“I like it.”

They both took the time they needed to calm their hearts and breathing back down to a normal rate. Hanzo's arms tightened around Jesse's shoulders.

“Thank you, Jesse.”

“Ohhohmm, you know you've done good when your partner thanks you for the sex,” Jesse said with a low laugh. His voice was thick and ladened with tire.

“For this entire evening. For understanding my position, and for caring enough to check on me. For going across town just to get dinner… and yes, for the sex.”

Another soft chuckle. He could tell Jesse was fading fast, and he wouldn't keep him up. He carded his fingers slowly through the man's hair.

“Cause I care about you, darlin’.”

The comfort of his afterglow was enhanced with a far more substantial warmth at Jesse's comment. He turned to kiss the man's temple and reached down to at least cover them from the waist up with the sheets. All thoughts of his presentation and the VP’s frustrating notes were left at the door. For now, all he cared to think about was the man beside him.

“I care about you too... Goodnight, Jesse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Quietly clears "safe household lubricants" from phone search history*


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo has a phobia. Jesse gets an unexpected visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one! Please enjoy and thank you for reading.

_The sun was warm and brilliant against the cloud-free sky above him. The water beneath it was the definition of blue; a gentle torrent of cerulean that became greener as it approached the warm, flaxen-colored sand beneath his feet. McCree walked along the shore, just out of reach of the ebb and flow of the tide._

_Why was he here? Was this a vacation, or was he here on a mission? Although the reason for being there was unclear, the feeling in his gut told him that he should be at-ease. He hunkered down once he had walked far enough and flopped backwards onto the sand. It was so warm and inviting, and with the comfortable heat from the sun’s rays overhead, he was starting to feel drowsy. He rested a hand over his eyes to take a quick nap._

_A voice to his side drew his attention. He must have slept for a while, because the sun was low in the sky now. Vibrant shades of purple and red had taken over, and towards the mountains he could even see some stars. He lifted his hand and turned his head to see someone in the distance waving in his direction. He couldn’t make him out, but he was standing about waist-deep in the water. Was he in trouble? No… he did not sense any urgency in his gesture. It was more of a beckoning motion._

_“Join me.”_

_Who was it? Why did he suddenly feel such uneasiness? Why did he not want to go?_

_He squinted, but could not make him out even though the voice was familiar. Behind the man, deep colored clouds were forming on the horizon, barely visible against the beautiful sunset._

\--

“Jesse? Are you going to join me, or not?”

He tried to open his eyes, but he was just too tired to manage it. He heard a chuckle and felt a warm hand against his forehead, fingers trailing through his hair. Oh, right. It was coming back to him now, and he remembered where he was and what he had done the night prior. He smiled groggily before he could get his eyes to open.

“Mornin’, sweet pea.”

His senses were returning to him slowly, and he could definitely smell something delicious nearby. He staggered up to his elbows, but the room was still far too bright for him, so he remained a bit squinty.

“Sweet pea? That is a new one.”

“Well, we did a couple’a new things last night, I thought it might be appropriate.”

“Mm. Well, I do not dislike it.”

He felt lips against his cheek and he hummed in approval. Receiving that kind of affection so casually felt like a luxury he hadn’t been granted in a long time. It made him feel so… relaxed. Another rarity, these days.

“Join me in the kitchen. I bothered to make you bacon, do not let it get cold.”

God, when was the last time someone had made him bacon? Every word out of Hanzo’s mouth made Jesse wonder if he was falling in love with him. He rested a hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. His eyes had finally adjusted, and he took a moment to look over the man sitting next to him. Hanzo was a thing of beauty, even with bed-head and nothing but a bathrobe on. Perhaps especially. 

“Damn, but ain’t you the prettiest thing to wake up to.”

This seemed to go over well, because the man sitting beside him tipped his head down to give him a proper kiss good morning. He smiled against those lips and gave the bridge of his nose a nudge before his host drew back. 

“Come, before I let the dogs in.”

“Okay, okay, let me put some pants on at least!”

The two reconvened in the kitchen after Jesse had thrown on his jeans and shirt. He couldn’t help grinning like a fool as he picked up the plate Hanzo had set aside for him. He was also handed a mug with some coffee, and as he took a seat he inquired about Hanzo.

“None for you?” He said with a knowing smile.

“No… in truth, I do not particularly enjoy coffee.”

There it was. He could feel Hanzo readying himself for Jesse’s inevitable follow-up. He had to play ignorant for a little while though, lest it be known that Lucio had dished and Jesse already knew this fact.

“No? So why d’you order it so often?”

“...It is an old habit from an old life,” he said quietly, and judging from his reserved facial expression Jesse could sense that he was embarrassed about it. He wouldn’t pry. 

“Got it. Well, I really appreciate it. That means you picked some up just for me, huh?”

“Hmph. Do not flatter yourself, I do have other guests occasionally.” Although his words were firm, the playful smile betrayed him. 

The table in the kitchen nook was small enough that Jesse could sit across from Hanzo but still hold his hand while the man read the Business section of the newspaper. They fell into a comfortable silence, Jesse munching on a piece of toast and taking in some details of Hanzo’s kitchen.

“Y’know, you might be the only person I know who reads a physical newspaper,” Jesse remarked as he took another bite of toast. Hanzo glanced up from it and smirked. 

“There is something to be said for antiquities.”

“Oh?”

“Mm. I enjoy the smell of recycled paper and the feel of it in my hands. They are simple pleasures that I like to indulge in every morning.”

“I could give you a couple more simple pleasures to indulge in.” He replied with a wink.

“How lewd.”

“That doesn’t sound like a ‘no’.”

They continued their teasing back-and-forth until the food was gone and the hour became late. Jesse insisted on rinsing the dishes, which gave Hanzo a little bit of time to finish reading the articles he was interested in. 

“Guess I’ll be headin’ out.”

“Would you like me to drive you?”

“Nah, I’m workin’ the mid-shift today so I’ve got a little while before I need to be there.”

“I am working from home today to get everything done. I would be happy to take you whenever you like.”

Jesse felt a rush of gratitude, not necessarily from the idea of not having to wait for the bus, but that Hanzo would be so insistent to offer something to him even though it was out of his way. Hanzo was still seated when Jesse came back over to him, and he rested his palms on his shoulders. He gave him a little rub with a roll of his thumb. 

“No need, pumpkin. I don’t wanna derail you when you’ve got so much on your plate-- damn, that’s a real nasty knot you have in there. Remind me to help you with that later.”

His host responded positively to the touch. His head tipped to one side and a low hum escaping him. 

“I will not say no to that.”

Hanzo stood to walk him to the door, and they shared a parting hug and a lingering kiss goodbye. Jesse walked across the street back to his own home, wearing the same clothing he had been in the night prior with a grin a mile wide on his face.

\--

Despite the positive note they left on, Jesse did not get to see much of Hanzo in the few days that followed. He did bring him food just to make sure he did not wind up neglecting himself over his work, but knew better than to keep pulling him away from something he was obviously stressed about. It took quite a bit of willpower, because in truth Hanzo was just adorable when he was concentrating and unfairly handsome in general. But he managed, sustaining himself with only a goodnight kiss. 

Hanzo would be out of town for a full week, and in truth Jesse was not sure how he was going to pass the time. He had been more than just casually with the man for a few weeks now, and suddenly being alone again was going to be difficult. It was hard to say until it happened, but he was genuinely wondering if he would revert back to those feelings of loss and depression he’d been going through after the whole incident at the precinct. It had been so nice to have someone to focus on and something to look forward to. But he worried now that he’d perhaps become reliant on him. 

He offered to house-sit for the man while he was away, just so someone would be there to take care of the dogs, grab the mail and feed the fish in the backyard. In turn, Hanzo offered the full run of the place to Jesse, but he insisted that it would probably just make him sad to stay there while he was not around. He drove with the man to the airport with the promise he would bring his car back to his home so he wouldn’t have to worry about leaving it for a week at the airport. They did park just so that Jesse could help him with his bags and they would not have to feel the pressure of saying a speedy goodbye. 

The airport was pretty packed considering the time of day, and after a bit of time weaving through crowds and lines, they were able to check Hanzo in. Jesse handed over Hanzo’s carry-on, and the man set it down so that they could have a moment together unencumbered. 

“Would you mind givin’ me a call when you land?”

“Of course,” Hanzo said as he pocketed his boarding pass. 

The two stood before each other as if they had never before embraced, each looking reluctant to be the one to say goodbye. People were having conversations all around them, and overhead there were pages for passengers to come to specified gates. But Jesse was so focused on the man before him that everything else was just a whirr of white noise. 

“Good luck with your presentation.”

“Thank you…”

Jesse came forward to pull Hanzo in. Although there was some tension in the man’s shoulders, he assumed it was just from the sheer amount of pressure he’d been under for the last couple of days. But just to be sure, he leaned down to question it in a low murmur against his ear. 

“This okay? I know we haven’t done any real PDA before…”

“What? Oh-- yes, it is fine,” he said distractedly, and after his words Jesse felt hands slowly move around his middle. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“I understand, darlin’.” He cooed as they separated. Hanzo looked as tired as he probably felt, and it really tugged at Jesse’s heartstrings to see him this way. He cupped the man’s jaw to give him a kiss. 

“Have a safe flight.”

“Thank you,” Hanzo said with a deep inhale and a wavering sigh of an exhale, and it was then Jesse realized this level of anxiety had not been present in the car ride over. He smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze. 

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yes-- I will. It is only a two hour flight. It will be fine…”

“Han? Are you… afraid of flyin’?”

It was becoming more apparent the longer they stood there and Hanzo refused to turn towards his gate. He was pale and there was the tell of panic in the brief flicker of his eyes back and forth. When the man drew his hands back there was a small but noticeable tremble to them. The hesitance to answer him in words made things clear enough.

“I do not prefer it.”

Jesse could feel himself making a sympathetic face. The poor guy, being afraid to travel must make it hard to go away on business trips. He took both of Hanzo’s hands, which felt a bit cold and clammy, and tipped his head to make eye contact. 

“Want me to tag along? Just for the flight, I’ll come right back so I can feed the pups. I bet they still got a seat or two open.”

“No, no,” Hanzo said with a laugh in his voice, albeit a weak one. “That would be an absurd waste of your time and money--”

“Not a waste if it helps you feel better.”

Hanzo paused to smile at the comment, but continued on with his train of thought. 

“I will be fine. I have done this before and I will do it again.”

“If you say so.” 

The two embraced one last time before the tired businessman turned to walk towards his gate. Jesse watched him until he passed through security and turned to go back to the parking lot. 

He found Hanzo’s car and fiddled with the dongle until it unlocked. He slipped inside with a heavy exhale and put his hands on the wheel, strumming his fingers against the leather for a moment. Jesse had never actually driven Hanzo’s car, but he knew what kind of price tag this model had, so there was a bit of pressure getting it home without a scratch.

The drive back was luckily uneventful, as was parking the car back in Hanzo’s garage and getting into his house to feed Mako and Jun. He played with the dogs for a while, fed them and sat outside with them to make sure they did their business. It was a slightly overcast day, but not too cold to enjoy sitting out on the porch. He had made himself a cup of coffee and lingered there until it was empty and the sky grew dark. He called the dogs back inside and eventually walked back home in the twilight. 

Once he was back in his own less-impressive living room, he sat down on the couch to distract himself with a TV show. He set his phone facing up on the pressboard coffee table and turned on some sitcom he could tune into mindlessly. The plan was to wait up for Hanzo’s call and then turn in for the night, but he could already feel his eyelids getting heavy. The ringer would surely wake him, so there was no harm in dozing off a little… 

It was not immediately obvious how long he had been asleep for, but when Jesse woke up the television had gone into power-saver mode and the room was pitch black. The only sounds in the room other than his shifting around were the dry groans of the house settling and the wind picking up outside. As he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face, a bright light affronted his vision and cast dramatic shadows across the room. His eyes had yet to adjust, so he answered it blindly assuming it was Hanzo. He must not have been asleep for very long if he was calling just now.

“Hey.”

“McCree?”

Jesse’s eyes snapped open when he recognized the voice on the other end. 

“Winston? Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while!” He stood up from the couch to search around in the dark for a light. He felt the walls until he found the switch and turned on the sole lamp by the doorway. Even this one dim light made him clench his eyes shut again. 

“I’m sorry to call you so late in the evening, Jesse, but I have some news.”

For a brief moment, Jesse’s heart skipped a beat and he became hopeful. Was this good news? Had they caught Reyes? Could he go back to his old life, his old condo, and finally see his own dog again? 

“What sorta news?”

“There has been a… development in your case.”

The hope he had cautioned to garner was fading fast with Winston’s hesitant tone. He frowned and took a seat on the couch, which squeaked in protest of his weight. A brand new couch already squeaking? Well, he hadn’t been the one to pay for it, so it wasn’t really his place to complain. But he was starting to miss his old well-worn and comfy sofa. 

“Okay… what sorta development?”

There was a sigh on the other end. Jesse’s eyes had adjusted now, and he looked around the dimly lit room for a time-piece. The clock on the wall said it was almost midnight. That was a lot later than Hanzo’s ETA… why hadn’t he called?

“Well, there was a break-in at your old condominium last night.”

“Mine specifically?”

“Yours specifically.”

Jesse groaned and leaned back on the couch to stare up at the ceiling. He lived in a relatively safe neighborhood back at home, but he knew from experience that crime could happen anywhere. 

“Any leads? Was anything stolen?”

“Not from what we can tell. The CCTV footage we have of all of your rooms does not show that anything has been tampered with. The intruder must have been looking for something specific.”

“This build-up is killin’ me, Winston.”

“We think he was looking for you.”

“I figured.” 

McCree stood up from the couch to go to his front door. He checked the lock and the deadbolt, then went to the windows to close the blinds. 

“So was it him?”

“We don’t know. He wore a hooded jacket and gloves, but he does have a similar build to our suspect.” 

“Is there anythin’ I can do on my end?” He asked, already knowing the response he would get. 

“Actually, yes. I wanted to call you to give you a warning to be cautious. Keep up your situational awareness. Try not to go out too often if you can avoid it. And if you see anything at all suspicious, tell me immediately.”

As he lingered by the blinds he heard a scraping sound by the window that caused him to freeze. He backed up a pace or two and stared at the blinds before he heard the chittering of a raccoon and relaxed. This whole thing was getting him too riled up, and possibly for nothing. There was no way Reyes would find him all the way down here, and he certainly hadn’t left any clues in his old place. How could he, when even he had been in the dark about it until he’d actually arrived at his new doorstep?

“What about Genji?”

“You know I can’t reveal that to anyone, Jesse. Even you.”

“Can’t you just tell me if he’s safe or not? For fuck’s sake!”

“Calm down, Jesse. He is safe, I can tell you that much.”

“Good, good…” 

He started to pace back and forth in his living room. He took the phone away from his ear to see that he did not have any missed messages or calls from Hanzo. He could have sworn that he’d asked him to call… had something happened? Maybe the man’s phone had just died. Whatever the case may have been, Jesse was in a paranoid headspace and of course started to envision all of the worst case scenarios. 

“Listen. I know you can’t just hand out Genji’s number, but… I wonder if you could pass on a message for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ok this whole fic is gonna have NSFW peppered in going forward. Please be aware!
> 
> The next chapter will be from Hanzo's perspective. Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo faces his phobia and forgets something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! 
> 
> I wrote this chapter about a month ago and I'm still not happy with it, but at this point something is better than nothing!

_Only two hours. The hard part is over. Just distract yourself with something. Don’t forget to breathe slowly._

The usual mantras drifted through Hanzo’s thoughts while he clutched the briefcase in his lap with both hands. He almost didn’t hear the flight attendant beside him.

“Anything to drink?”

“Just water.”

He always chose an aisle seat, thinking that it somehow gave him more control in a hundred-thousand pound metal flying death trap. It was beneficial if his phobia got the best of him and he needed to use the facilities to forfeit the contents of his stomach. But that had only happened once, when he had erroneously thought that having a drink might make it easier to endure the flight. It ended up making things worse, and he had been both dizzy and paranoid for the remainder of that trip. 

He accepted the cup with one hand and carefully lowered his tray to set it down. On his lap and inside the briefcase, he had his work laptop, notes and presentation outline. There was also a book stashed away that he’d purchased at a shop just past security. He had his choice of things to distract him from the muffled roar of a jet engine powerful enough to suck an entire metal baggage container right off the runway- not to mention individuals. It wasn’t until the plane hit some turbulence that he finally caved and reached for the book. 

Although his eyes skimmed the sentences one after another, nothing was internalized. He went through three pages without really knowing what he was reading. He had to force himself to persevere in order to stave off the chill of fear that ran down his spine every time the cabin shook. To his left was an elderly woman with thick red framed glasses reading a magazine about travel. As the cabin jolted more sharply, he found himself desperately wishing that it was McCree beside him instead. Perhaps next time Hanzo would take up his offer to fly with him.

After what seemed like an eternity, the plane finally touched down. By the end of it Hanzo’s heart was beating mercilessly and he felt more than just a little light-headed, but he was finally back on solid ground. Good. Another minute breathing in recycled air and he felt he would suffocate. The engines were powering down and the cabin lights flickered to life as the passengers rose to their feet to clamber into the tight walkway. 

He shuffled along slowly and in single-file with the crowd off the airwalk and into the safety of the airport. Every time Hanzo stepped off a plane he felt like he was a little closer to conquering his phobia. The best home treatment for fighting one’s fears was repeat exposure, after all. And every time he looked around the destination airport to see travelers going about their day as usual, laughing, joking, buying crossword puzzle booklets at kiosks, he felt foolish for even worrying in the first place. 

The thought to call Jesse occurred to him as he made his way to the luggage claim. The man had requested he check in with him upon landing, and Hanzo wanted to make sure he did so before it became late. He reached into his pocket to withdraw his phone, but when he held down the power button the screen only revealed the outline of a battery pack with an exclamation point inside. 

“Damn.”

Apparently he had forgotten to charge it before he left. It was probably about time for an upgrade; he could tell the battery was not lasting as long as it used to. He made a mental note to call Jesse once he got to the hotel instead and collected his bags from the carousel. 

His schedule over the next five days was packed airtight. Breakfasts, lunches, coffee breaks, sundowners and dinners were all planned out with different VIPs at different venues. Even his “downtime” was carefully pencilled in with other executives. One of them even wanted to play _golf_. What was it with VIPs and golf? Hanzo himself was not a sports fan at all, but when the president of the company was visiting the country, of course he could not say no. 

He checked his pocket book as he got into one of the taxis queueing at the curbside and gave the driver the name of his hotel. He was not a VIP, so of course there was no one holding a sign that said “Shimada” to pick him up. But that suited him much better. He preferred to do these things on his own, and any chance he could get to just have a breather alone was cherished at this point. It was going to be a long week, after all. 

\---

_What am I forgetting…?_

This was the thought that haunted Hanzo while he sat across from Axiom’s executives, both state-side and from the main office overseas. Lounge jazz was playing softly in the background, mingled in with the clinking of silverware and buzz of quiet conversations all around him. The lights were slightly dimmed, as any five-star restaurant would have it, and the floor-to-ceiling windows across from their table barely helped. Outside it was dark and pitch black, save for a few illuminated spots along the walkway to the golf-course in the distance. 

Hanzo had tuned out of the table’s discussion briefly as he stared out into the dark. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, like a little string tied to his finger whose origin he had forgotten. It was prominent enough that he had forfeit the conversation of whether a multinational tech company acquiring an open-source hosting service was going to be financially profitable to wonder what it was he had neglected to do before coming to this dinner.

He tried to think of everything he had needed to push for over the past few days. As far as his duties in the office went, he had tied up all of his loose ends. He had closed the books and filed each report that needed to be done. For the conference itself, he had managed to finish his presentation, had copies printed (they were scheduled to be delivered to his room by morning), and made arrangements with each individual he intended to meet with before even stepping onto the plane. In regards to his house, he had locked the door before leaving, made sure the oven was off, gave the dogs food and left the spare key with Jesse so he could feed them while he was--

 _Oh_. Jesse. That was it, he had forgotten to call Jesse.

Hanzo frowned while he recalled very clearly leaving his personal phone to charge on the nightstand, receiving a call from the CEO on his work phone, and immediately leaving the room to attend this very dinner without fulfilling his promise. He reached into his pocket and, sure enough, his personal phone was still charging in the hotel room. It was around this time that Hanzo started internally chastising himself for not memorizing important phone numbers, just for situations like this.

“What do you think, Shimada?”

Hanzo stared wide-eyed at the woman who had spoken to him, obviously caught off-guard. She was the CTO of Axiom and clearly had a strong opinion on this topic… and he had just spaced out on a majority of it. He felt a sudden wave of stress when he realized the whole table was looking at him. 

“I… think the decision was based on their strategic value, not their financial value.”

The people directly next to him chortled under their breath and the woman raised her eyebrows. 

“The strategic value of getting Merlot instead of Cabernet?” 

“Oh--” 

This time he joined in on the laughter, but it was quiet and clearly tinged with embarrassment. He muttered something about travel being exhausting and his peers forgave him. They quickly moved on to place their orders and switched to a new topic of conversation. 

Well, there was nothing to be done about forgetting to call Jesse now. He would just have to wait until he returned to the hotel room to remedy that. But if it was too late, he might save it for the morning. He knew Jesse had early days and did not want to wake him if he had already gone to sleep. 

Hanzo managed to hold his own in the dinner conversation now, once he had settled his inner dilemma and could concentrate fully. He managed to recover gracefully, in his opinion, and navigate the rest of the evening with the sort of professionalism that he was known for. Order something easy to eat, take small bites in order to respond at a moment’s notice, have one glass of wine to appear relaxed but no more than that, and of course skip dessert in favor of a cup of coffee. When it came time to get the check, he reached for it instinctively but one of his peers from his office snatched it up first. 

“Don’t let this guy see it! We’ll have to turn in our leftovers and demand a refund.”

Hanzo did not join in on the laughter this comment inspired. He stared at the man, perplexed. 

“Excuse me?”

“C’mon, we’re all joking here. We know you’re a big stickler for budget cuts.”

“I am the _Financial Manager_ , it is literally my job.”

“Right, right. Just saying, you’ve got a bit of a Scrooge reputation. You know, money first, people second.”

The laughter around the table had started to wilt in enthusiasm, possibly due to how poorly Hanzo was taking this ribbing.

“I do not need to defend my ethos to you. Ensuring the company’s financial health is what I have been hired to do.”

“Of course… it was just a joke.”

The atmosphere at the table remained tense while they waited for the check to come back. There was an attempt to start up a new discussion about something lighter, but Hanzo was no longer an active part of the conversation. Now all he could think about now was how much he would like to just take a shower and go to bed. 

It was not the first time he had heard that he was a penny-pincher; such a reputation unfortunately came with the job. But it was the first time he had heard it from someone who should have understood his position. As he glanced around the table, he wondered if even his superiors and those who had promoted him shared this misconception about him. 

Once the bill was settled, he took a taxi back to his hotel alone. It was a shame that he did not have his phone on him, but probably better for Jesse’s sake. It would give Hanzo some time to cool off and let the wine burn out of his system before talking to him. 

The hotel lobby was deserted when he arrived, and the elevator was quick to open. No surprises there, as it was past midnight. He returned to his hotel room and stripped the tie from his collar, hanging it and his suit jacket on the nearby desk chair. 

And there was his phone, resting on the nightstand where he’d left it with a green glowing battery on an otherwise black screen. He walked over to turn it on, then went to go prep for bed while he waited for it to boot up. After the evening ritual of taking a shower and brushing his teeth, he returned to his bedside to find he had two missed calls- both from Jesse. He unplugged the device and dialed his voicemail, but there were no new messages. The most recent call was only twenty minutes earlier, so he did not see the harm in returning it despite the hour. He found Jesse’s name in his contacts started a new call. 

He was not expecting him to pick up on the first ring, but he did. 

“Hanzo?”

“Jesse, I am sorry I did not call you sooner.”

He hoisted his legs up onto the bed as he reclined back against the stiff headrest. The curtains were still drawn back from earlier that day, allowing him a view of the light-polluted downtown skyline. The room was still fairly dark save for the light from the bathroom, so he felt around for the bedside lamp switch and turned it on.

“You’re-- oh, good. Good. It’s fine. I’m just glad y’called.”

“Is everything all right? Did I wake you?”

“No, I mean-- well, yeah, everything is fine. No no, I was awake.”

The quality of Jesse’s tone was unfamiliar. Normally he had such a relaxed drawl, a quality that Hanzo found quite soothing. Tonight, he sounded tense and preoccupied. 

“I hope you were not up waiting for my call…? My phone died on the plane and I left it to charge while I stepped out for dinner. That was inconsiderate of me… again, I apologize.”

“Aw honey, I ain’t mad about that, don’t you worry. I know you’re mighty busy over there.”

There was a sudden flutter throughout Hanzo’s chest, and instinctively he ran a hand down the lower half of his face to suppress a smile despite being alone in the room. _Honey_... that was unexpected.

“So how was the flight?”

“Terrible. Every flight is terrible.” Although Hanzo answered him dryly and very honestly, Jesse laughed on the other end. “But I suppose on a scale of terrible to nightmarish… it was only terrible.”

“I guess that’s good. You really should let me come with you next time. I’m pretty good at talkin’ people down from a panic.”

This time it was Hanzo’s turn to chuckle as he crossed one ankle over the other. “I might take you up on that. Is that something you learned from your years in the force?”

“-- _What?_ ”

“You know,” he hunched over to run his thumb over his calf muscle to work out a knot, “as mall security.”

“Oh! Yep. Yeah, sure is. I mean, you’ve seen Black Friday lines before.”

“I am sure you have many interesting stories.” The thought occurred to him that he had never really asked Jesse for amusing anecdotes about his previous line of employment. “Why don’t you tell me a few? In truth it has been a long evening, and I enjoy the sound of your voice.”

“...Well-- y’know it’s hard for me to refuse when ya butter me up like that, but wouldn’t you rather talk about your day?”

“Not really...” he replied quietly with a sigh. There was a brief silence on both sides, each waiting for the other to break it, before Jesse eventually chimed in. 

“So it was Christmas Eve, and there was an old lady holdin’ up a toy store. She was a real piece of work, and all she wanted was some limited edition toy for her grandson. She took over the intercom and demanded someone bring it to her.”

“Ah, an act of desperation.” 

“Yeah, you’re tellin’ me. She had a gun and everything.”

“ _No_. She was armed?” Hanzo asked in surprise, perking up. He had not honestly thought that Jesse’s previous line of work was quite so dangerous as that. 

“Yeah. Well, get this. When I got there, turns out the gun she was weildin’... it was one of the store’s toys! I mean, granted it was a real good one. Can you believe they make toy glocks?!”

Hanzo gave a bark of laughter at the reveal and covered his mouth with a hand when he realized the hour and his own volume.

“But at the time, it was honestly pretty scary. I mean, I wasn’t really expectin’ to go into work that day and have to deal with a hostage situation.”

“Is that not something you should have left to the police, though?”

“Er-- yeah, of course we notified them first. But I was on site an’ I noticed it right when I got there. It wasn’t too tough to calm her down, we had some basic training in that.”

“I had no idea,” Hanzo admitted, slumping back into a more reclined position and exhaling slowly through his nose. “Well, you are very brave.”

Jesse chuckled on his end and Hanzo closed his eyes. He began to visualize being back at home and next to Jesse while he spoke, as they had done so many nights before on the couch, and he felt comfortable enough to smile as he dragged his fingers over his chest idly. He was so tired from the push to get everything done over the past few weeks that he could feel his whole body being pulled to sleep almost as soon as he did so. Jesse continued to speak softly on the other end, but admittedly Hanzo was so exhausted that he didn’t catch a word of it. He sighed heavily and murmured some half-awake response to the other man’s next story. 

“--you tired?”

“Mm. Yes.”

“Ah. You sounded a little too content there, I kinda thought you were touchin’ yourself.”

Hanzo made a quiet chuckle despite his drowsiness. “You are incorrigible.” 

“Incorrigible? Naw, just hopeful, darlin’. I know I technically saw you today, but it’s been a while since we’ve gotten to actually spend some quality time together.”

“I know, and I am sorry. I hope we can remedy that when I come back.”

“So, that’s really a no on touchin’ yourself?”

“Is this your roundabout way of asking for permission to jerk off over the phone?”

“... It might be.”

“You are really serious,” Hanzo observed as he opened his eyes again to stare up at the ceiling in the dark. He got up on an elbow and stared out the window. “That is not something I have ever done before.”

“Well there’s a first time for everything, right? C’mon, doesn’t it sound fun?”

Hanzo watched his ghostly reflection in the window before he stood up and took hold of the blinds to close them. It did sound appealing, in all honesty just listening to Jesse say his name was usually arousing enough. But he was so tired, and he had just taken a shower… 

“How about a rain check? It is late, and I am tired enough to fall asleep in the middle of it.”

“Anytime you want, honey.” Hanzo could practically hear the wink in his words. “I won’t keep you, I reckon you’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

The two shared a brief goodnight before ending the call. Hanzo set his phone back on the nightstand and got back into bed. A minute or two passed before he eventually turned off the light as well, and he barely had a chance to imagine that Jesse was there beside him before sleep took hold of him.


End file.
